The Nonpopulist

THIS SITE HAS MOVED!!!

2010-10-07T12:50:00.000-05:00

The Nonpopulist has moved to http://www.nonpopulist.com. Classy, huh? Update your bookmarks. Tell your friends and enemies. I will try to get a redirect on this page soon.

HUGE Site News: 2 Legit 2 Quit (Hey, Hey)

2010-09-27T16:19:00.000-05:00

Elisabeth Shue always serves up the sexy just like me.

This week, lady and gentlemen, I am going legit. I have purchased the domain http://www.nonpopulist.com and am working on building the site. I am also switching blogging platforms to what I have learned is the Cadillac of blogging platforms, Wordpress. Sorry blogspot bros, but it's time to make the switch. Let's always remember the good times.
I need to kick this thing to the next level of jerkitutde, though. Come with me to my new home of a$sholery, www.nonpopulist.com. I'm hoping to have the new site ready to launch this week, and I will probably not update this website ever again. EVER! Blogspot is dead to me. I'm already working on a tear-jerking montage celebrating our good times together. It'll be fapable.

New Season of Community + Cool Remix Promo + Hot Alison Brie Pictures

2010-09-23T16:56:00.004-05:00

Wow, Alison Brie is really sexying up that dilapidated loft apartment. I

have a weakness for boy shorts like those.

Community is not only one of the best comedies on television it is one of the best television shows on the boob tube today, period. I will verbally spar with you if you feel otherwise. The first episode of the new season (season 2) airs tonight on NBC. You may have even already seen the new episode by the time you read this so I have something of note to offer for those winding up at this weblog post, hot pictures of Alison Brie and a remix done by DJ Steve Porter. Porter has made a name for himself making all sorts of internet promotional videos that include music, mashups, and auto-tune pieces with a viral feel. They are good at what they do over there and have an impressive client list. I am not on board with the auto-tune video they did for ESPN that aired on Sunday NFL Countdown last week because it was had both auto-tune and the video featured the Manning brothers (Peyton and Eli.)
Here is a video remix DJ Steve Porter did of Community season 1 that is quite strong.

Nicely done, Porter. That video succeeded in getting me more wet for the Community premiere tonight. Speaking of wet.

Here are a few more photos courtesy of Warming Glow.

A huge classy hat tip to Ufford who runs shit over at Warming Glow. He is the class of television bloggers. He makes this site look like mentally handicapped people drawing crayon pictures on a toilet. Ooohh, I just got an idea for a post, people. I'll let you know how it goes (poorly.)

American Idol Announces New Judges, People with Brains Collectively Sound a High-Pitched Mouth Fart

2010-09-22T20:46:00.014-05:00

The people who are into this show have always sort of annoyed me, but all of the buzz as to who the next warm bodies to sit in the judge's chair would be annoyed me enough that something needed to be written. Entertainment blogs and websites have been abuzz with opinions and rumors on who will be the new American Idol judges for a while now. I'd rather be updated with stories about the amount of herpes the cast of The Jersey Shore have. O wait, we have that too. Valtrex passed around like candies, you say? Lovely. Pop culture is full of whores. There are money whores, actual whores, fame whores. I'd say there is a mix of these various kinds of whores in the selection of judges for this season's American Idol. (ed note: Should shows like this really be typed in italics? No.)

The first judge is Randy Jackson. He is the only carryover judge. I saw today in a story about American Idol that Randy Jackson's twitter is handle @yo_randyjackson. Really? I get it because in every thing I ever see making fun of him he always says, "Yo" and "Dog." It makes sense. He could have almost even gone with @yodawgJackson or @yodawgyoumydawgyo. And no I am not linking to that crap on my blog.

The second judge will be Jennifer Lopez. I remember a time when I thought she was hot (I mean pretty, not trendy), but the stories about what an insufferable person she is to work with have really influenced my thinking. I just assume she is a bitch. And she did Gigli and whatever else she's done that does not matter at all to me. She is reportedly getting $12 million for her "work" on American Idol this year. Meanwhile some homeless guy got mad when I told him no when he asked for change the other week. I asked him for change, and he called me crazy which I thought was thoroughly racist. What? Do you think every white guy is the Brad Wesley character from Roadhouse? I work for a living too, asshole, and hard. I don't have a lot of extra money laying around to give to somebody who has given up on life. I'm actually trying over here.

The third judge will be Steven Tyler. I'm not for certain why I have such a personal bias against Steven Tyler, but I think part of it is this girl I was into met him on vacation one time and got a picture with him. Nothing happened (she was with her parents and still a minor at the time) between them, but I saw the picture when she got back and said something to the effect of, "O, that's cool that you don't discriminate and are willing to take pictures with alien-looking lesbians. She did not enjoy my humor at this moment, and she discovered how stubborn I was when I would not quit making fun of how he looked despite her multiple protests. She did not get the joke at first and informed me he was the guy from Aerosmith. I really do not understand why such a large percentage of women find Steven Tyler attractive, but they do. He doesn't even look human, and it's not close. It perturbs me in the old noggin. And Aerosmith as a band? Meh. To wrap up that story about the girl that met Steven Tyler I only let her touch my penis one time. To sum up my feelings on anything American Idol-related- *high-pitched mouth fart*.

That was a good, hate-filled warm up. I plan on submitting to the torture that the new NBC ~~show~~ crap sandwich Outsourced most definitely will be in order that I may write about how it will likely be a method of abortion on par with the "wire coat hanger method." My goal, my mission in life is to cause this show to get canceled. I want to verbally eviscerate all who are responsible for this show. This is the battle I have chosen, people. I am so tired of crappy television and this will be my Hamburger Hill. WHO'S WITH ME? /crickets

A Dad Outshines His Daughters in Youtube Bieber Dance Party

2010-09-20T20:33:00.012-05:00

In honor of my twitter avatar for the past week (Justin Bieber) I thought this post would be a good send off. I will change it tomorrow afternoon. To what I will change I am not sure yet, but I'd rather have the default twitter bird than roll with the Biebs any longer. For those of you who do not follow me on twitter, this has been my avatar for the past week.

The reason that has been my avatar for an awesome week is because I lost a fantasy football bet. The winner got to choose the loser's twitter avatar for a week. When you consider what my choice for ~~him~~ her would have been I'm sure you'll agree it was a dick move on ~~his~~ her part. She's a Minnesota Vikings fan so I was going to choose an Aaron Rodgers picture for ~~him~~ her. But enough of my bitchy whining. I've taken my medicine. I am not going to give the winner of the bet the pleasure of publicity, though. This video helps a little.

Wow, that is uncomfortable to watch, but not for the reason you might think. The girls are lifeless. How can they ever hope to make it out of the Lithuania (according to the Youtube information) based on their singing and performing talents? The dad, on the other hand, has got the goods. He seems a little like he may be a cog in the wheel of some eastern bloc crime syndicate but has managed to get a lot of practice dancing at the local discotheque their crime family owns. Good for him. I still feel bad for him as a parent, though. His daughters aren't living up to the family talent level. I hope these girls learn from their father and bring some charisma next time.

The Nonpopulist Interviews Super Bowl-Winning Coach Jimmy Johnson (Part 2)

2010-09-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

A nice shot of Coach Johnson with the military personnel in attendance

The second part of my interview with Coach Johnson is below. As promised there are more hard-hitting football questions as well as the Survivor questions that were asked by myself and a few of the other reporters.

At a Crown Royal event for their new initiative, Operation CAMO Care Package, I had the opportunity to interview two-time Super Bowl Winning coach Jimmy Johnson along with three other blogger-types. Operation CAMO Car Package is a project Crown Royal in conjunction with Operation Troop Aid. I recommend you check out what they are doing and support the cause. The easiest way you can give your support is by going to your local adult beverage retailer and purchasing a bottle of Crown Royal in a purple camouflage bag. For every camo-bagged Crown Royal purchased they will fill another camo bag with essential items such as toiletries, sunscreen, snacks, and in some cases 120-minute prepaid phone cards and send it to troops serving overseas. That seems like a win-win to me. You win because you get to enjoy

I would like to let my readers in on a little bit of my experience at the event. I was one of the most under-dressed people at the event. Almost everyone guy had a suit on except, you guessed it, the bloggers. The two other male bloggers had on shorts and polo shirts. I had on slacks and a long-sleeve button-down shirt (classy and sexy, right ladies?) The female blogger was dressed very appropriately as well, probably classier than me. Also, there was a free lunch and free booze. Crown Royal was featured, and this reporter can confirm that is so, so smooth.

As with the last post the following interview portion has been edited for length and to not reveal how long and bumbling my questions were.

Nonpopulist: (On Survivor), Was it easy to turn into Coach Johnson, did you use that to your advantage?

Coach Johnson: Well, I really didn’t want to be the leader. I didn’t want to be the boss, and they just kept saying, listen, we’ve got decisions to make and somebody, not saying you’re going to make the decision, but you help us make the decision. So, I said at least I’ll do that.

Nonpopulist: How quickly did hygiene go out the window? How long did you keep up appearances?

Coach Johnson: About 30 minutes (laughing)

Nonpopulist: 30 minutes, and you spent a whole month there? (more laughing) [ed. Note: damn, I’m funny]

John (It’s Never Sunny in Cincinnati): If Jerry Jones was on Survivor, how long would he last?

Coach Johnson: Well, Jerry’s had the good life for a long, long time, and what I’ve found out because I’ve had the good life for awhile myself, being on the couch in the air condition, sleeping in a bed, having lots of food and water makes you want to come back and get those things again. So I don’t know if Jerry would last real long on Survivor.

John (INSIC): When the Survivor taping ended, what was your first meal when you got back home?

Coach Johnson: I had four cold beers. (laughter of knowing-drunks)

Nonpopulist: Nice, that’s a good choice.

Coach packing the ceremonial Crown CAMO bag

Nonpopulist: You followed coaching legends three times in your career. Two out of three went well for you. Having the benefit of years to look back and reflect, what would you say the difference is between the two successful ones and the one that didn’t go as well?

Coach Johnson: Following Schnellenberger we ended up winning a championship. In four years, we only lost two regular season games, so that went well. Then following Landry, back to back Super Bowls, so that went well and we put together a team that won another one. And then, following Shula, we were in the playoffs three straight years and we were in the second round of playoffs two straight years. Now, for most teams in the NFL, going to the second round of playoffs is usually pretty good, but when you’ve got a couple Super Bowl rings, people have expectations to win a Super Bowl, so if you don’t win a Super Bowl it’s a disappointment. But people look at the Dolphin thing and say, well, was that a disappointment—I thought we played about as well as our talent allowed us to play. Like I said, going to the playoffs three straight years, but we didn’t win a super bowl, so that was a disappointment.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, that was my follow up. Were you the victim of high expectations?

Coach Johnson: Yeah, again, most teams in the league would love to be in the playoffs three straight years.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, when was the last time you got a coaching inquiry about a coaching position?

Coach Johnson: I’ve had inquiries about, not coaching in the last 5 or 6 years, but being a general manager or being a consultant. Of course, in the early years they always wanted me to coach, but I’ve pretty well made it clear to everybody I love doing Fox NFL Sunday. That satisfies my itch for football, and being out there with Bradshaw and Howie Long and Strahan and Menefee.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, we can tell you guys have a good time.

Coach Johnson: We have a ball.

Nonpopulist: I saw where last Sunday on the Fox NFL Morning Show, you guys were giving your Super Bowl picks and you chose the Colts and the Cowboys.

Coach Johnson: Yeah and both of them lost. I’ve said before I’m terrible at picking games, but I still like both teams.

Nonpopulist: What do you think of former players and coaches who are now commentators stumping for their former teams?

Coach Johnson: I don’t necessarily stump for a team. I mean if you look at the picks I made, the Cowboys and the Colts, that pretty well might be the consensus around the league. The only one that might be thrown in there with them would be the Packers, maybe. A lot of people are picking Green Bay. That’s probably the consensus pick. Again, I don’t have any allegiance to any team as far as the way I am on Fox NFL Sunday.

Nonpopulist: So, you’re not afraid of getting the cold shoulder or anything like that?

Coach Johnson: I think players more so than former coaches. The only coaches that might be concerned about that are ones that are going to go back and coach again which I’m not.

One of Coach Johnson's Super Bowl rings. Shiny.

Again, I would like to say thank you to HuggingHaroldReynolds and the folks at Taylor PR for the opportunity.

The Nonpopulist Interviews Super Bowl-Winning Coach Jimmy Johnson (Part 1)

2010-09-17T11:00:00.086-05:00

At a Crown Royal event for their new initiative, Operation CAMO Care Package, I had the opportunity to interview two-time Super Bowl Winning coach Jimmy Johnson along with three other blogger-types. Operation CAMO Car Package is a project Crown Royal in conjunction with Operation Troop Aid. I recommend you check out what they are doing and support the cause. The easiest way you can give your support is by going to your local adult beverage retailer and purchasing a bottle of Crown Royal in a purple camouflage bag. For every camo-bagged Crown Royal purchased they will fill another camo bag with essential items such as toiletries, sunscreen, snacks, and in some cases 120-minute prepaid phone cards and send it to troops serving overseas. That seems like a win-win to me.

The following interview portion has been edited for length and to not reveal how long and bumbling my questions were.

Nonpopulist: First, I want to say thank you for what you’re doing for the troops with Crown Royal and these care packages. It’s always good to see that, regardless of politics, we’re still supporting the troops. You mentioned spending time in Afghanistan, what do you have as a message to civilians after spending time there?

Coach Johnson: The biggest thing is don’t forget. I mean, don’t forget that we’ve got service men and women over fighting a war. And, don’t just take them for granted, because they’re doing a service and they’re sacrificing for our freedom and I think sometimes, back here in the States, they get all excited at one time, and as time goes on they just go on about their lives and they forget that we’ve got service men and women over there serving our country. So, don’t forget.

Dave (Blogging the Boys): You saw the Cowboys/Redskins game last week, so what’s your evaluation of the Cowboys so far?

Coach Johnson: Obviously it was really disappointing for any Cowboy fan to see some of the decisions made, not taking a knee right before the half was just a horrible decision. And I think they’re going to still be a good football team. I think the biggest thing is they get the offensive line back healthy then they’ll be at full strength. Defensively, I think they’ll be one of the top defenses in the league. And offensively they’ve got the skill people, but they’ve got to get those linemen back healthy.

Dave: You mentioned about the kneel down before the half and there’s a little back and forth about did Wade Phillips call it, did Jason Garrett call it, what do you think about that? The dynamic between the two.

Coach Johnson: We’re doing a piece on Fox NFL Sunday this weekend. I’m doing a piece on clock management and game management. An offensive coordinator’s responsibility is to score, but the head coach does the game management. The end result is the head coach has got to make the decision.

Dave: The Cowboys take on the Bears this weekend, so I wanted to ask you about containing Mike Martz’ offense? What’s the best way to attack that kind of offense?

Coach Johnson: Well, usually with Martz’s offense, he pretty well plays into your hands because as good as that defense is for the Cowboys, they’ll be able to get some sacks and interceptions. Martz is going to put up some numbers, as far as Cutler throwing the ball, so they’ll put up some numbers, and they’ll probably score some points, but I think the defense will end up getting some scores themselves, at least kicking field goals. You’ve got to force Culter into mistakes.

Nonpopulist: What young or up and coming coach are you looking at to make an impact in the league in the next few years?

Coach Johnson: Well, it’s hard for me to put one out there for the simple reason unless I’ve actually coached with them or I know them personally, I don’t want to go out and endorse somebody. I do know Sean Payton well, and he’s young, but he’s won the Super Bowl. In fact, one of the pieces I’m doing this week I give credit to Sean, some of his game management skills

Nonpopulist: What about rookies? In particular, Dez Bryant?

Coach Johnson: yeah, well I followed Dez Bryant because he played for Oklahoma State and that’s where I coached for 5 years, and I think he is going to be a tremendous talent. He’s really going to help the Cowboys if he can stay healthy.

Nonpopulist: I mean I guess they gave him 88 for a reason, right?

Coach Johnson: He’s a very talented individual.

Nonpopulist: A lot of jokes have been made about you doing the ads and sponsorship for Extenze, you know?

Coach Johnson: Right

Nonpopulist: There are easy pickings there comedically. How much did you get initially from the guys on Fox NFL Sunday and your other friends? [ed. note Wussed out, should have been edgier]

Coach Johnson: Well, Bradshaw in particular, but like I told him, I said, for that particular product, at my age I need all the help I can get (awkward laughter)

More hard-hitting football questions, and I'll get to a few Survivor questions in the next portion of the interview I post. You do not want to miss it.

Also, I would like to say thank you to HuggingHaroldReynolds and the folks at Taylor PR for the opportunity. It was a class event.

Author of The Anarchist Cookbook Sells Out, Denounces Book

2010-09-16T08:01:00.000-05:00

The author of The Anarchist Cookbook, one of the classic "banned books," has denounced his masterwork. Read author William Powell's statement here at Anarchistnews.org. Why do I care? Why am I posting about The Anarchist Cookbook? Why are you not posting about it? It's a classic book and a hot-button issue after all these years. Powell wrote the book in 1968-1969 and people who know what it is still whisper when they talk about it. I love discussing things that are taboo. I'll let you in on a little secret. I have seen and read parts of the book. It's outdated at this point, but from what I understand people have made updated copies and put them online. People tell me current ones are far worse than what Powell had originally written. Even the revelation that Powell denounced the text appears to be old according to the comments at the above story link.
Hat tip to the twitter feed of Anarchist News where I first saw the story.

Site News: I Scored a Major Interview with a Super Bowl-Winning Coach

2010-09-15T22:05:00.014-05:00

Tomorrow on The Nonpopulist I will pretend for a day this is a classy establishment in front of other people. I will hoodwink people in a professional PR setting into thinking I know the something about interviewing anyone as I do so for the first time with two-time Super Bowl-Winning coach Jimmy Johnson. Not bad for a first interview, huh? Well, we will see how it goes. I may make a complete a$$ of myself (likely.) Hopefully the fact that I have yet to shell out to pay for my own domain name will not make everyone throw spitballs at me. Many thanks to HuggingHaroldReynolds for the opportunity. I will try not to let you down. I will try my best to get something up from the interview tomorrow afternoon. I am shooting for a full transcript. Please feel free to comment if you have any good questions you would like me to ask.

The Latest Mentally Unstable Person Running for Public Office Is the Most Polished Yet

2010-09-14T12:19:00.034-05:00

The ~~startling~~ awesome trend of people who should either be under full-time psychiatric care or at least taking medication for mental illness running for public office continues with Phil Davison. Guys like Davison, Chris Young, and BasilMarceaux.com make me ponder if it is worse to have crazy people or deceitful manipulators who are money and power grubbing whores in our political offices. The answer: more anarchy. Davison wants to be the GOP candidate for Stark County Treasurer which is in Ohio. As you will see he is passionate about wanting to be treasurer for this county in Ohio. Wait, Ohio? O, he's probably in the 90th percentile of intelligence in Ohio. Compared to the rest of the country, though, this guy is a nut job. See for yourself.

By far the best part of this video is how Phil Davison curtails the crazy at various points and remembers what would appear to be speech class etiquette. Wait, he has a Master's degree in Communication? Did I really hear him say that? I'm glad I have a college degree because obviously that still means something in today's world. O wait, I do contract IT work with no guarantee of a steady paycheck and am a wannabe blogger with a $hitty readership who never comments and who gets most of my page views from Google image searches. Sad but true. Why am I crapping on myself? This guy is the one who needs professional help. No one should be that happy or proud of their political affiliation.
Someone at around the 2:45 mark responds to a rhetorical question Davison poses. I learned a long time ago to try to avoid interactions with crazy people when they are agitated. Luckily it did not backfire on whoever that misguided was. It was fortunate for them they responded with something the candidate wanted to hear. Ha, he dropped a "knowledge is power" at the 4:28 mark. I'm glad to know someone else was a Schoolhouse Rock fan. Best of luck to Davison in the race.
Credit goes to Huffington Post as it was their story originally and the video was shot by one of their citizen journalists.

NFL Cheerleader Eaten By Mascot: Video

2010-09-13T13:35:00.019-05:00

Sexy NFL cheerleader shot is obligatory

This weekend's NFL action was nothing short of spectacular. I was entertained for about 9 and a half straight hours yesterday. There were controversial plays, epic fails, and this... a Tennessee Titans cheerleader being eaten by a mascot. I did not type eaten out, you pervert. This isn't a porn site. I saw this live since the Titans are my favorite team. Most of the time when my wife is watching a game with me I have to pretend I'm not paying attention to what the cheerleaders are doing with a casual look away here and there, but I hit rewind on the DVR a few times for this. As I perused Youtube for this clip I see it has been done already several times, but it's new to me. A version of the Titans' mascot(regular one is a furry costume), a racoon named T-Rac, swallows a cheerleader whole. Watch the video:

If the Youtube video gets taken down, go here.

Death Metal Penguin OOH WAH AH AH AH!

2010-09-10T11:47:00.000-05:00

This penguin is so hardcore.

I would not want to get in a pit with this penguin. I never liked the whole "mosh pit" aspect of going to shows. I've been a crotchety old man since I was 16, though. I enjoy seeing bands I like live but dealing with a bunch of idiots who want to run into me and elbow me did not enhance the experience for me. When I saw NOFX live I found a corner with a view and just hid. People actually got hurt at that show. I want to see a band play, not have to worry about my safety and the safety of people there with me. Like I said, a crotchety old man. I was at a Grand Buffet show one time and some guy was trying to slam dance and knock against everyone in the show. This guy was really going up to every person at the show and just pushing them and then moving on to the next person. The second time he came up to me I put my elbow in his chest. The third time we took him outside. This was at an indie hip hop show so we just couldn't let that fly.
Here is the death metal penguin OOH WAH AH AH AH!

Public Enemy: Say It Like It Really Is: New Video

2010-09-09T13:08:00.025-05:00

Public Enemy has a new song and video called Say It Like It Really Is. The song will be featured on the upcoming box set called "BRING THE NOISE: The Hits, Vids, and Doc Box." The song has a nice classic feel to it and features clips of notable people who Chuck D, Flavor Flav, and the guys feel say it like it really is. I was pleasantly shocked to see a clip of one of my favorite artists, Sage Francis, at around the 3:47 mark of the video. It's nice to see Sage get some respect from legends such as Public Enemy. I bet Sage has been twirling around his bedroom in spasmodic glee since he found out. Good for him. A clip of Rage Against the Machine was in the video too. There are a lot of cool people. Someone should make a list of all the people in this video. And say what you want about Flavor Flav being a pop culture joke nowadays, but he still is and always will be the best hype man in the business.

White Girls Doing a Glee Club Version of "Bitch3s Ain't Sh1t" by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

2010-09-08T12:05:00.017-05:00

This is the affect Glee is having on our society. It is easy to think Glee is merely an innocent show about following your dreams and high school dramaaa, but if the show leaves videos like this in its wake then it is much more sinister than even I imagined. I caught my wife watching the show one time. ONE TIME. I had to employ psychological warfare on her in the form of repeating the word "drama" in an effeminate tone until she finally changed the channel. We have an awesome marriage.
The song "Bithc3s Ain't Sh1t" is on The Chronic, Dr. Dre's first album, which was one of my favorites growing up. I think Dr. Dre would find this video to be funny. I think it's kind of hot. White girls in skirts, dresses, and knee-high socks singing hardcore rap is at the very least intriguing to my boner. Upon researching this video I learned Ben Folds also does a cover of this song. How stupid is that? I also learned this video is more than a year old and performed by students of Columbia University in a group they call Bacchantae. Their website appears to have not been updated in a while but is still interesting.
Here's the original version of the song for comparison:

Hat tip to the man, Robert Littal, at myspacemodelsonline.com

They Say It's Google's Birthday, It's My Birthday Too, Yeh!

2010-09-07T15:34:00.001-05:00

Evan Rachel Wood looking sexy.

Today is my birthday. It has been uneventful. I celebrated this weekend so don't feel bad for me. I don't know about most people, but for me birthdays are about having a little fun, seeing what celebrities you share a birthday with, and contemplating suicide as the rotting carcass that encompasses my mind and soul deteriorates at an increasingly rapid pace. I look each year anew with anticipation that some famous person that I actually give a crap about shares a birthday with me. Maybe someone who just got famous happens to have a birthday that coincides with mine. I realize this is pure vanity, but it keeps me distracted from my own mortality. I've been seeing Corbin Bernson's sorry a$$ on this list for years *dismissive wank motion*, but today I decided to head over to the Wikipedia and just look up the date of my birthday. I was entertained.
Here are a few highlights:
1533- Queen Elizabeth I of England
1936- Buddy Holly
1950- Julie Kavner (voice on The Simpsons)
1963- Brent Liles (bassist for Social Distortion)
1963- Eazy-E
1987- Evan Rachel Wood, she's pretty (see: above)
Those are the birthdays. There are also a few events of note that took place on September 7th.
1822- Brazil declared independence from Portugal
1963- The Pro Football Hall of Fame opens with 17 charter members
1979- ESPN makes its debut
2008- The U.S. government seizes control of mortgage financiers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
1998- Google
1996- Tupac Shakur was fatally shot four times in Las Vegas. He died a few days later.
Tupac was one of the greatest. I have gained a renewed appreciation for him recently. I have been listening to "So Many Tears" several times a day for the past week or so. Here's a video of him performing that song live along with "All About You" at Club 662. That is the same club Tupac and Suge Knight were on the way to the night he and Knight were shot.

I Was Just Thinking Car Commercials Could Use More Speed Metal

2010-09-03T14:04:00.001-05:00

Every once in a while an internet video comes along that makes me smile in a special way. This video series is called Cars. It reminds me of a Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! on steroids, crack, and Sparks malted beverage. It's not about cars so much as it is a crazy car commercial in the first video and insane random awesomeness in the second video. These videos got enough notoriety that comedy powerhouse Patton Oswalt took notice, called one of the main guys behind the video, and asked him when Cars 3 was going to be made because he wanted to feature it at a film festival. How do I know all of that? I heard it on the Filmdrunk Frotcast, specifically episode # 5. Filmdrunk's podcast, if I may plug something for a minute, is the best podcast I have ever heard. I got on the podcast bandwagon when it first got hot a few years ago, but most of them sucked a$$, so I gave up. So for all I know, there are more good ones now. I really don't see any of them being as good as Filmdrunk's podcast though. And really, who has the time. The Frotcast is something I will make time for, damnit. By the way, look up the term frot. Many of you are aware I am a fan of ultra-offensive humor, the more offensive the better.The Frotcast satisfies that need. But back to the Cars videos, watch these sh1ts!

Check out Car 1:

Cars - watch more funny videos

And Cars 2:

Cars 2: "All Out Cars" - watch more funny videos

Now GET OUT YOUR F*CK#ING CHECKBOOK!

Who Knew A Political Interview on a Morning Talk Show Could Produce So Much Sexual Tension?

2010-09-01T14:01:00.002-05:00

The following video is from the Fox morning show in Providence, RI.
Here is the description from the Youtube video:

"The Rhode Show begins its new series, "Coffee with the Candidates," to help you get to know the candidates running for elections and on a personal level. Today we begin with the Providence mayoral race and Democratic candidate Chris Young."

Is it just me or does that guy look like Chris Farley from when he did the motivational speaker sketches and act like Chris Farley when he did the sketch where he was a nervous interviewer? The Farley factor is off the chart. Did this guy, Chris Young, idolize Chris Farley growing up? Someone in tune with the local Rhode Island political scene please investigate. I would be nervous too. The lady interviewing him is a tasty little biscuit. The two have an obvious sexual chemistry, though. I haven't been this turned on by Rhode Island politics since Annabeth Gish in the Showtime series Brotherhood.

Rawr, kitty

Annabeth Gish is a very underrated hottie. She's also been in two of my favorite things ever, the movie SLC Punk and The X-Files.
Back to the video. Did you catch that pony tail he has tied up in the back? Why are you hiding that thing, my man? Let your mane flow. I have to give it to the lady interviewing Mayor-Elect Young (We can go ahead and assume he's going to win, right?) Number one, she manages to keep her clothes on while he is singing that song. Number two, she maintains professionalism and is able to find a place to cut him off before he breaks it down to the beat box/ extended version. At the end Young seems more intent on getting his band heard than running for mayor. Wait a minute, he's a freaking genius. He got his demo heard and we were none the wiser. Damnit! Well played, Chris Young. Well played.
I guess this is the new trend, crazy guys running for office. First Basil Marceaux.com and now Chris Young.

Word of the Day: Brosher

2010-08-31T15:44:00.000-05:00

Bro, that time you puked beer out of your mouth and nose onto me was not brosher.

Your word of the day courtesy of The Nonpopulist is brosher.

Brosher: 1. Keeping within the limits of unwritten and often unspoken etiquette kept among bros. 2. a cousin of the term kosher, but not in a sacrilegious way, rather a totally chill way. 3. ex: True friends know it is not brosher under any circumstances to date a fellow bro's ex-girl.

I coined a new word today (as far as I can tell by searching Google no one else has used it.) What the crap did you do today?

How to keep it brosher: wine, flip flops, and khaki shorts combos.

These guys are putting on a clinic on keeping brosher. I didn't even point out they were next to a large body of water.

With this post I declare The Nonpopulist back in regular posting mode. Actually I plan to turn it up to "beast mode" by posting more than one time a day. We'll see how that goes, though. As NFL season heats up I plan too post a whole lot more over at The Gally Blog including a weekly NFL betting post and a division by division season preview.

Meme Central: Crazy Cursing Black Preacher + Animated .Gif

2010-08-17T20:59:00.001-05:00

The crazy cursing black preacher has been internet gold since 2006 when the videos first appeared online. This guy, Don Vincent aka Reverend X, has the sort of swagger only someone with bipolar disorder can have. I need to learn the lesson that other bloggers have been trying to teach me that it is alright to post old stuff since not everyone has seen everything already like I may have. And sometimes I discover old things that are new to me. It is rare that something over a few weeks old in internet age will be new to me, though. In the words of my wife when I forced her to admit it while pulling her hair, "I win the internet." In other words it is always new to someone. But nothing is new under the sun.
Back to the crazy preacher. Watch this video.

Where does one start with a video such as this? The hair? The ponytail is a solid length, but it looks as if he occasionally shaves his head directly above the ear and over the top. Why does he choose that spot? I would say because he is cross-eyed and must shave by feel instead of sight. Then again I can't keep my beard shaved straight at my neck so I probably shouldn't be throwing stones from my glass house. I will throw stones at the mock turtleneck, though. That is weak. The music he chooses to play is usually rap which is nice even though it drowns out the most assuredly hilarious comments people are making when they called into his show. O wait, then there is the whole thing of him being the cursingest preacher ever. Church would be a lot more interesting if preachers all carried themselves like this guy. In his mind he is on a mission, and no one can deter him from it. If he doesn't like what you have to say he will cut you off as evidenced by when he told his producer to "cut that bitch off!" Wikipedia has more of the story behind Reverend X as well as the always wonderful Encyclopedia Dramatica. And that stuff I wrote at the beginning about new vs. old stuff was in response to Daniel Tosh featuring Reverend X in his "web redemption" segment tonight on Tosh.0. I'm sure it will be great since almost everything Tosh does is funny. I was only regretting that I had not posted this yet since I have known about it so long. I swear an oath to you, internet, that I will slowly post all the memes I come across regardless of whether or not I think everyone has seen it already. Hey, there's people that were just born today. And now for the animated .gif I promised courtesy of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Meme Central: Meme Mashup Video... Many Greats

2010-08-10T22:39:00.002-05:00

This video squishes together some recent notable memes and sets them to a funky track. The soundtrack includes samples from Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" and a Kid Cudi song (whoever the crap that is.)
Some of the memes included are David after Dentist (Do you capitalize memes? I have no idea. I'm just going to do it since the MLA handbook has nothing about it. I feel at this point I can deduce the spirit of MLA to the be able to make these decisions.), the Worst Wedding DJ Ever, the Best Cry Ever (Auto-Tuned Remix- from that intervention episode), The Sneezing Baby Panda, and the Happiest DJ in the World

It's amazing really. The speed at which memes were created was shocking not more than a few months ago. Now the rate at which memes are condensed into mashups and autotune remixes moves at a blistering pace. This is what the internet is for, people. We are merely bystanders.

Crazy Fight Video of the Day: Bawston Style

2010-08-09T14:39:00.000-05:00

Don'ts trys to staht nothin' with us Bawston Boyz!

picture via FilmDrunk

Prepare yourself to view a 7 on 1 fight where the 1 has a surprise bat. The video is shaky and at times pointed away from the action but still totally worth it. As you might imagine, the comments below this video are funny as well. Everyone's a tough guy with a bat or until a bat comes out. It tends to tip the scales that way.

K-Swiss Grows Some Advertising Balls and Decides to Win with Kenny Powers

2010-08-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

Coming from a person who hates commercials I must admit, I love this commercial. You have to give credit to a major company like K-Swiss for laying their nuts out on the table to make a commercial as great as this for their new shoes called "Tubes." The shoes actually look cool. I plan on trying on a pair next time I am shoe shopping, and in this video Danny McBride's character is selling them hard. For backup Kenny has brought his trusty sidekick and assistant Stevie Janowski played by Steve Little to perfection. Honestly, this video is so full of win you just have to watch it yourself with minimal commentary from me.

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

I am so wet for this next season of Eastbound & Down that I am nearing the point of purchasing HBO. Hard Knocks with the Jets and head coach Rex Ryan is another show lubing me up to let HBO insert itself inside me. The people behind Kenny Powers and Eastbound & Down certainly left us wanting more after making an inaugural season of only six episodes. I can only re-watch my DVDs of season 1 so many times before I have to see new moments of a$$holery from Kenny Powers. If this commercial is any indication the new season will probably be more of the glorious same, except in Mexico where season 2 is at least partially set. We'll find out when Eastbound & Down returns to HBO on September 26th.

Meme Central: You Can Dance Like No One Is Watching, But Make Sure People Are Watching

2010-08-05T12:44:00.004-05:00

From one of my favorite classic movies, Beat Street

What's this? A new feature? Yes, internet weirdo, this is a new feature I am calling "Meme Central." I am semi-unretired from blogging for the time being (in between contracts) and thought since most of my posts revolve around various memes I should give these sorts of posts a name for recognition purposes. That is the origin story for MEME CENTRAL. No graphic novel prequel required.
The Internet Meme Central has been humming along lately with many wonderful new offerings. This video with meme potential comes to us from Youtube user tehl337n3ss. What a surprisingly internet self aware username to choose, bro.

Dancing, with all of the hard times in the world today it is nice to be able to take some time for a lively dance. As the dancer in this video soon finds out, choosing the right location for getting footloose is important. Some people go to clubs, others to studios with mirrors on all the walls. The most important component of the dance, however, is the inspiration. The dancer in this video was obviously inspired by the classic song "Dancing in the Street" which I'm fairly certain is the song you hear playing in the background and the location in which he chose to dance. I had a dance studio in a house I lived in a few years ago. And by dance studio I mean a room with a tile floor for which we were too poor to buy furniture. I did dance in there from time to time, though.

First impression: Cameraman, we're getting off to a bad start. Not only are you spinning me around making me dizzy, but you are forcing me to look at a gap in your teeth that makes Michael Strahan feel bad for you. Some people are supposed to be in front of the camera, and some people are supposed to work behind the scenes. You are one of those two kinds of people. What is being lost on others I have seen commenting on this video is this guy is not a good dancer, not good at all. What's with the arms folded thing, man? Is that like fighting with one arm tied behind your back? You believe you are such a good dancer that you don't require the use of your arms? I'm sorry. I just don't see it, man. I think you need the arms back in your repertoire. Also, I get the ice cream truck coming in hot because he sees a larger gentleman and therefore a potential sale, but the driver should really have more focus. The ice cream man industry is in such a bad decline that I have heard some ice cream men have resorted to selling drugs out of their ice cream trucks to be able to support their families. Don't believe me? Check the Ice Cream Sellers Index printed in the Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition.

Alternate headlines for this post if this were The ALT Report- Blipster Bro Decides to Dance Like No One's Watching at the Wrong Time, When Someone Was Not Watching

More Proof Brett Favre Is A Regular Guy: He Sends Pictures of His Penis to Girls He Barely Knows

2010-08-04T14:52:00.006-05:00

Check this post out on my new site www.nonpopulist.com
http://www.nonpopulist.com/more-proof-brett-favre-is-a-regular-guy-he-sends-pictures-of-his-penis-to-girls-he-barely-knows

Deadspin broke an incredible exclusive story today about Brett Favre, Brett Favre's...

They Would Be "Rapin' Errbody Out Here" If It Weren't for Hero Antoine Dodson

2010-08-02T19:10:00.000-05:00

Actually writing a post feels so foreign to me now that I have let this blog go without updates for so long, but hey, I like foreign women, so I will try to get back into my groove. Yeh, I know, boo-freakin-hoo, I actually have a job right now. Shutup.
Rape is never a funny topic except for when it happens to someone else which... is 100% of the time for me in my life so far *fingers crossed.* Luckily the woman in this video had someone to help her fend off an attempted rape however light in the loafers he may be. I would not dare make too much fun of Antoine Dodson, though, since he fought off his sister's attacker and still has enough wits about him to defiantly tell the "homeboy" who tried to rape his sister that he is stupid and they are looking for him. I, for one, hope Mr. Dodson finds his man and that someone has a camera to capture that moment. Check the video below for lulz.

As if that weren't enough the guys over at Autotune the News got a hold of the video and put their personal touch on the video to give that extra finger in your butt hole level of excitement.

I normally abhor autotune, but these Autotune the News guys have obvious talent and have been making quality videos for a few months now. They get a pass.

The Double-Rainbow Guy: This Is Why You Can't Have Nice Things, Internet

2010-07-17T11:45:00.000-05:00

Every blog on planet earth has linked to or embedded this video of a guy having an elated reaction to seeing a double rainbow. It kind of makes me sad. Watch it below if you're one of the last dozen people in America who haven't seen it or you're from Ethiopia or something.

My question is why is everyone destroying this guy (and alleging he's on drugs?) I get the novelty of the video, and his reaction is over the top, but it bothers me this dude is getting roasted for having an honest reaction to something. This guy is crying and asking what it means in an real and emotionally vulnerable moment and we, the internet, point and laugh. How messed up is that? This isn't Lindsay Lohan, the cast of Entourage, a BP executive, or anyone else who should have their life failures meticulously raked over the coals. This is just some guy who had a beautiful experience with nature and shared it with a bunch of dickbags like us. The man, Paul Vazquez, is taking it stride. Here's a pretty chill interview he did with CNN for which embedding has been disabled. Mr. Vazquez may also get some money out of the video thanks to some guys who did an autotune song/remix using his audio. Good for him although anyone who uses autotune has a nice selection of one foot spiky as$ dildos reserved for them in hell except for the autotune the news guys. They're hilarious!

Ok, this was funny. Here is the audio of the double rainbow video mashed up with the Kermit the Frog song "Rainbow Connection" called "The Double Rainbow Connection." Great job, internet.

The Double Rainbow Connection (Remix) by gdelahaye

Site News: Where the Hell Have I Been?

2010-06-14T23:28:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed the gaping hole in the internet where my daily blog posts at the three sites for which I write (this one, The Nonpopulist, The Gally Blog, and EDGE.) Well, there's a reasonable explanation for the lack of mediocre posts cresting the waves of the internet last week. You see, I began a new contract job last week, and it has been running me fairly ragged. I have to be there early, work eight hours, and then drive over an hour to get back and forth from the site. Not that I'm complaining, though, this is the steadiest job I have had for a while, and the pay is excellent. I'm no longer sucking entirely off of the teat of my sugar mama... figuratively. Literally, I still am sucking... never mind. The point is after a few days of not being able to dick around on the internet all day I miss it. I really miss it. I am looking back longingly on the days I didn't even take a shower in favor of keeping a close watch on all of the twitter and internet goings-on. Then rushing around the house when my wife got home to pretend as if I had done some laundry or dishes or something in the yard. Ahh, the deceitful good ol' days. Maybe when this contract is over I can come back to a life of crude jokes and internet assholery. The contract is supposed to be 2-3 months, but we'll see. I and the people I am working with are already streamlining the sh!t out of the place. I'm coming running back to you internet with high-pitch Steve Perry open arms. Until then I will try to pepper in some posts in the evening. I also think I'll focus more on my serious writing (i.e. novel), but whatever. That's not funny or entertaining as of now.

This Kid Is So Punk Rock

2010-06-02T12:33:00.005-05:00

A not so Fat Mike

This kid is so punk rock, he'll probably be the next Fat Mike (of NOFX.)
His debut splash into the music world is called "I'm Fat, and Nobody Likes Me." Both of these kids in this video are wearing those power chords out. Saw it on Web Soup originally. The way that Chris Hardwick says "Web Soooooooooup" at the beginning of the show is starting to grow on me.

Another Sitcom Intro Recut to the Theme Song of Friends

2010-06-01T10:45:00.029-05:00

This video gets done for every sitcom if not all television shows now. I saw one with the sitcom Community a while back, but this time it's Parks and Recreation. I enjoy both of those shows by the way. What I do not enjoy is the rush to see who's going to edit some clips together from the latest hot show and drop it against the ~~iconic~~ barf bag theme song from Friends. I respect the editing skills since I wouldn't know where to begin to make a video like that, and I know it's fun to have your momentary brush with a celebrity from the show or the creator when they mention your video on twitter. I'm sure it's a high to get that recognition, but your talents can be better spent editing videos of people getting hit in the nuts set to wacky slide whistle noises and parents exploiting their children while on narcotics. It's played out, guys.
On top of how played out it is, why does it always have to be the Friends theme song? Did people actually like Friends? I could not stand that show. I liked the theme song even less. Why doesn't anyone ever do one of these videos to the MacGyver theme song. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh duuh du du duuh....
That's a genius idea, and I won't even be mad if someone steals or if it's already been done and I'm unaware of it. Here is a fartists (intentional misspell) rendering of the Parks and Recreation introduction set to the theme song from Friends I like Aubrey Plaza's character on Parks and Rec. Everything she does is hilariously cute to me:

Oasis Update: The Band Getting Back Together??? Plus Update on Singles Album

2010-05-28T14:02:00.015-05:00

The band is getting back together albeit in a bastardized form WITHOUT NOEL! Liam Gallagher, Gem Archer, Andy Bell, and some queef named Chris Sharrock have put together a band called Beady Eye according to the official Oasis website. If Noel's not in the band then it's not Oasis and it won't be good. (Whose side do you think I took when the band broke up? The talented side.)
Since Oasis (2nd favorite band ever) broke up in August I have gone through however many stages of grief there are. Denial, anger, the rest, and now I am just waiting for Noel to do his long-rumored solo project. Sh*t, I'd go see him do an acoustic set by himself with Oasis b-sides. I have said many times that Noel Gallagher is one of the best songwriters of our generation. It's such a shame that anytime anyone in America hears Oasis they instantly think Wonderwall. That crap kills me. It's not like I go around advertising and telling everyone that I'm such a big Oasis fan, but if I know someone and it eventually comes out that I like Oasis they immediately always say harharyehIlikeWonderwall-it'stheironlygoodsong and then drool on themselves. That sends me into a Tasmanian devil-type rage twirling around the room grabbing genitals and wallets because screw you. You know nothing about Oasis, you lazy American twat. It's the only song you ever heard because it was the only one fed to you via mainstream American radio. Calming down now.
Oasis is also releasing a singles collection which I will not buy because I've already heard them all. Here's Noel talking about the singles collection "Time Flies" and then another video talking about one of my favorite Oasis songs, "Cigarettes & Alcohol."

The Beginning 8 Minutes of Back to the Future 1 and 2 Synced Up

2010-05-27T15:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is as cool as it sounds. If you don't like the Back to the Future movies we can't be friends anymore. Stop reading this blog... now. That's probably taking it a bit too far, but I do enjoy falling into the trap of watching any of the three movies on TNT on Saturday afternoons. Anyway, this video has about the first eight minutes of Back to the Future I & II synced up. The guy who made it said it's not 100% perfect, but I beg to differ. Wow, what the internet can do. It's a marvel. And Elisabeth Shue, wow, what I could do to her. She always makes my boner flutter. Loved her in Adventures in Babysitting. That is such an underrated movie.

Hat tip to Household Hacker for the link.

Remember That Time People Drank Fat Mike's Pee at SXSW? Or Did They?

2010-05-26T23:01:00.001-05:00

It probably didn't happen. Since my previous post has led to more search traffic than any post I have ever done I thought it a good idea to post an update on this story. See my original post on the whole Fat Mike making people drink his pee and them cheering about it here. Yesterday on the FatWreckChords (the name of Mike's record label- wordplay is a strength and staple of Fat Mike's) twitter feed a link was posted to a Youtube video which shows Fat Mike pulling a houdini-esque move of subtly switching out bottles just before he went on stage. The NOFX front man hit the SXSW crowd with the ol' okie doke apparently. But why, Mike? People cheered for it when they thought they drank your pee. Why ruin their elation? That is such a Poseur (title to a favorite NOFX song) move. The people who actually thought they got the chance to drink from one of your golden shot glasses will no longer be able to brag to their friends they tasted your urine mixed with tequila.What a disappointment for them. The original video obviously cut out the switching of the bottles. If you want you can view that video here. The video posted on Youtube yesterday has the switching of the bottle (with Fat Mike's penis thankfully blurred out) in real speed and slow motion in case you miss it the first time. Here it is:

Hey, at least Fat Mike dribbled some pee on the guy right in front of him. At least he got someone. In the above video some people might get confused because at first glance it seems like the guy standing beside Mike made the switch and then a switch back, but you need to look at the time stamp in the small screen at the top right. So no one drank Fat Mike's pee. Though I'm sure if you're really into that sort of thing he would oblige you. Just don't be too desperate for it, people. And now a video of one of my favorite NOFX concerts to watch online on Youtube from the the Bizarre festival in Cologne, Germany in 1996. It's a medley of Beer Bong and The Brews. Beer Bong is one of my top 10 favorite NOFX songs. I think I like this concert because Fat Mike is so wasted and talks sh*t in one of the videos about banging the chick from the band Garbage.

Ah, NOFX is still one of my favorite bands. Now I'll be watching them on Youtube for a while.

Crimes Against Nature: Autotuned Wolves

2010-05-25T12:16:00.021-05:00

Don't click play on this video unless you want it to get funky. T-Pain is going to be so jealous because these wolves can sing! And by sing I mean do what they normally do but make it sound dumber by adding a vocal processor onto their voice called autotune. These poor animals, where is PETA when they are really needed?

Now that his singing career has long been over...

Hat tip to Household Hacker where I found the link to the video. And to whoever made the LOL wolf above, Thank you.

Forget Lost, The 24 Series Finale Is Tonight!

2010-05-24T13:46:00.053-05:00

Tonight may be emotional for me. 24 has been one of the most bad a$$ shows ever on television, and I have grown quite fond of it. I can't say the same for Lost. I never watched that show and couldn't give less of a crap than I do about it than I do currently. I've known a few people that were obsessed with and swore by the show, but I didn't get in at the beginning. I was planning to catch up with the DVD's, but then I started hearing about a smoke monster, a smoke monster? So this smoke has consciousness? It plans stuff for the people on the island? When does Scrappy Doo start air-boxing the smoke monster? Are you kidding me? You people watched six seasons of that crap? Alright, never mind about Lost. I'm glad it's over. Lost fans (known as Losties *coughqueercough*) are almost as annoying as SEC footballs fans, but not quite complete a$$ douche level like an Arkansas Razorback fan. I think that is probably why I dislike the show so much even though I've never even watched it. I also have a natural predisposition to pick sides. If I don't like something I have an impulse to denigrate it. If I'm into something I sing its praises. I've been told it's an endearing quality. Then again, some guys have been told it's alright if they can't get an erection. Not that I have ever... never mind. Scratch that from the record.

That is probably my favorite 24 animated gif.

24 ends tonight, and say what you will about this season, I am still sad the show is ending. As I have said before a bad season of 24 is better than 85% of the other crap on television. Never has a show so captured the zeitgeist of America like 24 did. Jack Bauer's painful crusades have been cathartic in an age of fear and terrorism. Those of you with fuzzy memories may not recall, but 24 debuted after 9/11/2001 amid controversy. Kiefer Sutherland discusses it a little in this Entertainment Weekly article. I found it odd in that interview what Sutherland assumes after being asked this question:

"What will be the legacy of 24?
That the issues we’re dealing with in 24 no longer exist, and that it is an earmark of a time gone by."

Is it really a "time gone by?" I'm no fear monger, but I'm fairly sure there is no way to declare the issues of terrorism or torture nonexistent. 24 is a reference point on the map of America almost as much as it is on television. Many people have taken issue with the perceived glorification of violence in the show. I always viewed 24 as having all of the issues they were juggling in a good context. Sure, there was violence and torture, but there were also consequences. The good guys won a lot, but in the reality of the show a nuclear bomb was detonated on American soil. The writers were smart. They didn't just have Jack and other CTU personnel torture suspected terrorists and put bullets in people's heads. There was a struggle between right, wrong, and many gray areas. I'm not sure how the struggle will end. Almost everyone thinks the show won't really end tonight since there is a movie "in production." You may think I'm crazy for floating this theory, but I think Jack will die tonight. I think he wants to die. He's tired of killing everything he touches in his personal life. The writers have been writing around this theme for at least two seasons. What if the whole 24 movie were just a ruse to fool us into not believing Jack will die? Remember this is the show where no character was safe except for Jack since he was played by the big star. Now that no one is under contract for a new television season I think Kiefer's character is fair game. If I'm right (long shot) it would be the biggest misdirection in television series finale history.

You've heard of the video game Red Dead Redemption? Renee Walker has a game she likes to call Red Head Erection. She gets me hot.

We know Renee Walker is dead now so if there is a movie who will be Jack's female lead? Chloe and Jack have always been platonic and Chloe is married with a child anyway. I think Chloe is going to be the one to kill Jack anyway. I think Jack will have sort of an assisted suicide, but more like a samurai than Kevorkian style.

Man, I always hated her character, Kim Bauer, on 24, but she sure is easy on the eyes... and my boner. What I'm trying to say is Elisha Cuthbert easily gives me a boner. There, you happy?
Too much boner talk.

MacGruber: Has the Marketing Convinced You?

2010-05-21T15:43:00.000-05:00

The marketing campaign behind the new MacGruber movie has been impressive to say the least. The stars of the movie have been talking it up for a while, Ryan Phillippe hosted Saturday Night Live in promotion of it (because how else would he have been asked to host it?), SNL has still been doing new MacGruber skits each Saturday (even one with Betty White as MacGruber's grandmother), running a twitter account under the handle @grubes69 for a while, some of the characters went on the WWE Monday night show, and just this week the marketing went viral (the buzz word that gives advertising people boners) on the internet with "nude" photos of MacGruber being "leaked" on a site that I frequent called What Would Tyler Durden Do? The result of the campaign for the blogger who runs the site was hilarious after he jokingly bragged that some people had paid him a lot of money for promoting the movie and all of his loyal commenters proceeded to rake him over the coals for being a money whore. I would assure Brendan the heat he is taking is 100% jealousy.
The biggest question for the people who undertook the mass marketing campaign will be if it works. I think they did a good job personally. They took me from a "definitely will not see because I am a cynical assbag" to a "maybe."
Here's a video from Funny or Die of a guy doing a bit during the press junket for MacGruber:

MacGruber Press Junket - watch more funny videos

So did the marketing convince or did it go in one ear and out the other? Interesting note: my wife and I vowed a few years ago to never watch a promo or trailer for any Will Ferrell movie ever again because all the jokes were always ruined. We started that promise with the movie Semi-Pro, and I kid you not, we have laughed at all of his movies from Semi-Pro on. It takes a lot of commitment, but I recommend it.

Twitdown: Coining a New Phrase for the Twitter Meltdown

2010-05-20T14:56:00.011-05:00

We've all seen them. We've all been entertained by them. The Twitter Meltdown. A Twitter Meltdown is when a twitter user busts off a series of inflammatory, defensive, or otherwise spastic tweets regarding something in their online or real life. They often include replies to users and retweets of what people have tweeted to the one melting down with additional commentary. There have been several notable twitter meltdowns in recent memory, but I am not here to name names. I'm here to coin a phrase. I propose that henceforth that we call Twitter Meltdowns "Twitdowns." The economy of space being ever critical when using the micro-blogging site it makes sense to combine and condense whenever possible. I have searched the term twitdown and have not found it used to mean what I am proposing here, but I am open to being shown if someone has coined it somewhere else first. I wouldn't want to be accused of stealing someone else's idea, or I may have a twitdown.

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Video of Multi-Talented Police Officer Who Can Do Impressions While Being Tased

2010-05-20T13:25:00.000-05:00

A Chewbacca impression is hard to do. I have only known about two or three people who could do one well. I thought I would do a more lighthearted post about police officers to balance out the too serious one I did yesterday. I've been trying to not take myself too seriously because I know no one wants to read that, but it's hard. Enough whining, on with the video. CHEWBACCA COP!

What If Vic Mackey Had Taught People How to Outsmart Him?

2010-05-19T15:06:00.016-05:00

Barry Cooper, a former Texas police officer notorious for questionable tactics and results that pleased his superiors has switched roles since his retirement from the police force. This article by Michael May of the Texas Observer and reprinted on Alternet details a police career that reads like the fictional character from FX's The Shield, Vic Mackey. What's different about Cooper is after he left the police force he completely switched sides of the law and has produced a series of videos called Never Get Busted Again and been an in-general nuisance to law enforcement. Now "the man" will show you how to beat "the man!" He even has a website. I highly recommend you check it out for the entertainment value alone, but it also includes some helpful tips on dealing with law enforcement and has resources you can purchase. He even set up production on a television show where he ran a sting operation on a police force he suspected might be dirty . He posted video of the sting in which he used a staged weed grow house on Youtube:

That takes a lot of guts to do, even if you are a former cop and know your way around the law like Cooper does. Unfortunately Cooper's story does not have a happy ending for now. As many of you may know cops are often vindictive dicks, and they obviously did not take kindly to being given a black eye. From the above linked story by Michael May:

"Williamson County police arrested Cooper, and they did something police almost never do: raided his home on a misdemeanor charge. The charge was: “false report to a peace officer," for a phone call made to police about the duffel bag left at the school."

The officers even called child services alleging that Cooper and his wife had given drugs to their 17 year old daughter. There was enough speculation that now Cooper's stepson, Zach, has been disallowed from staying with him by his biological father who has filed for custody of the boy. I think what the author May did a good job of conveying with his article is Barry Cooper is a guy looking for redemption, much like Michael Chiklis' classic character from The Shield should have been looking for. He was beginning to find that redemption albeit in an unconventional manner, and as soon as he started to make some amends the system beat him down. He wasn't rapping on a song saying F*&% the Police or anything silly. He was trying to hold law enforcement accountable and, from what Michael May has written, it seems they have broken him for now. I hope he makes a comeback from his personal turmoil because honestly he is a real life super hero to me. Police in this country have gone too far, and it's not as if they are going to get more considerate. A police officer can not be told anything except exactly what they want to hear exactly how they want to hear it or the person saying it is likely to get tazed or maybe worse. For more on my views on police, click to police tag on the right side of the page, but there are more extensive websites on police abuse out there if you search for them.
Wow, what a downer post. I'm going to go listen to some Rage Against the Machine and clean one of my guns. TAKE THE POWER BACK!

He-Man Sings 4 Non Blondes

2010-05-18T22:51:00.000-05:00

A video that will make fans of the classic cartoon feel nostalgic and then laugh. This video cuts up footage of the well-known cartoon as if He-Man was singing the classic song "What's Up?" by the 4 Non Blondes. It's as good as it sounds. Hat tip to Ryan Gallivan of the Gally Blog (one of the other places I write frequently) and Wimp.com.

Solid gold job, internet. I feel like such a bum if I don't post something here every weekday. Real life would just not chill enough today for me to do a real post. Maybe I'll squeeze in another half-hearted shorty like this one. I've got an epic post planned for tomorrow.

How Much Is Your Dead Body Worth?

2010-05-17T11:30:00.033-05:00

Sometimes a question is asked that I did not even realize I wanted to know the answer to. And sometimes that question is also answered. That is the case with this documentary film aptly titled, "How Much Is Your Dead Body Worth?" The title really jumps off of the screen, right? You can view the whole documentary here at the awesome website Top Documentary Films. Yep, that's an easy bookmark if you didn't already know about that site. They have many documentary films you can stream for free right from their site.So I have a question for the makers of this documentary or the modern-day grave robbers that make all these millions of dollars on cadavers- if the body is fatter is it worth more? Do you guys pay by the pound? The reason I ask is because I know a lot of fat people. Also, in what sort of condition do you guys accept bodies? Do I have to kill people myself or do you have some sort of Saw III torture deaths planned out?
Through the magic of embedded video you can now view this entire documentary directly from The Nonpopulist.

Get Your Party Liquor Ready, New Season of Squidbillies Begins This Sunday Night

2010-05-14T15:11:00.019-05:00

Your comprehensive update on all things Squidbillies (premiering this Sunday, May 16th at midnight EST, 11pm CST.) NO ONE covers Squidbillies like The Nonpopulist. NO ONE.
"What in the hell is Squidbillies," you may be asking. Ok, noob, Squidbillies is an animated show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block of programming that kicks ass. The story centers around a family of redneck squids living in the mountains of Georgia. The patriarch of the family, Early Cuyler is an ex-convict who is barely trying to raise a son, Rusty Cuyler, as a single father along with other relatives who live with them, Granny and Aunt Lil. They are racist against white people, they drink and drive, and general hilarity ensues thanks to writers who I have a sneaking suspicion use crystal meth. For more help illuminating what Squidbillies is all about I have selected two short video clips:

and

"My name's Early, and I'm a real pugnut."
If that doesn't whet your whistle then we might not be able to be friends anymore. The season premiere is this Sunday, May 16th at midnight EST and will feature the band Widespread Panic. I'm not all that high on hippie jam bands and neither is the Cuyler clan so I'm anxious to see how that plays out. Other guest stars this season include Chad Ocho Cinco and the band Drive-by Truckers. I think they are going to do something making fun of Insane Clown Posse this season too. The only evidence of that I have is this picture tweeted from the Squidbillies twitter account.

They also shot a promo for the new season with Unknown Hinson, the voice of the main character Early Cuyler. He is also an alt-rockabilly musician in his own right as well as recently joining Billy Bob Thornton's band. I'm also a fan of Hinson's music and saw him in concert one time, and I would definitely see him again if he came somewhere close enough. View the promo he shot below where he also alludes to meth use.

Bonus picture of someone with a Squidbillies tattoo. If people are getting tattoos of it, the show must be good, right?

On the Road Movie: A Real Mouthfarter

2010-05-13T19:22:00.104-05:00

People have been asking my opinion of the On the Road movie based on the classic Jack Kerouac book currently in the works. My initial reaction is simply typing "/mouthfart" is not sufficient enough to encompass how much I dread this movie. We need to build a bigger mouth in order to more efficiently hold all of the mouthfart production needed to describe how I feel about this movie. The good people over at Beatdom (check them out) cover the On the Road developments as well as gives updates about the Charles Bukowski and William S Burroughs movies. They take a more positive stance than me on the prospects for the movie. I can't blame them. I'm a cynical a$$bag. Just think, there are going to be hipsters trying to act like they have been down with the Beat program all-along and people pretending they have read the book when I know damn well they didn't read it or read it and didn't get it.
I have been reluctant to think about the possible outcomes, much less do a post about it. Let me shock you by saying I am not at all looking forward to the movie. Yes, I use a picture of Jack Kerouac as my avatar for twitter and other places. Yes, I have read the seminal work by Kerouac two times and listened to the audio book version as read by Matt Dillon as well as the small selection that exists of Kerouac reading a portion of the book. Actually, Matt Dillon's audio book recording is a good example of why I cringe at the idea of an On the Road movie. I chose Dillon's reading of the book over the other option I saw available, David Carradine, and Dillon did give the reading a good try. His oral interpretation simply did not do the text justice compared with the audio examples available read by Kerouac himself. I'm not trying to say he should have mimicked the speech patterns exactly, just that he could have been closer. But I will admit I am hard to please in this area. It's like when all of the buzz started about Walk the Line with Joaquiuijn Phuaeoinix playing another one of the persons I admire greatly, Johnny Cash. People expected me to be at the movie theater the first day and gobble up every second. Wrong, I foresaw disappointment, and I was validated. My hope is that no one has to see their heroes immortalized in a crappy movie like mine have been. I watched Walk the Line at home, and I will probably do the same with On the Road lest I go to the theater and am forced to ruin the experience for everyone. The On the Road movie seems inevitable with four people now signed onto the cast. Kerouac will once again flicker into the pop culture consciousness for a moment. I don't buy that anyone, especially the actors, appreciate my man Jack on any level except the paycheck they will get.

Kristen Stewart- she will be in the On the Road movie.
Bella, we'll have to go on the road to make our love work.

Technical support update: I typed in "Kirsten Dunst hot" in Google image search and my computer blew a gasket. I didn't even know these things had gaskets!
Forgot to mention because I was drunk and literally falling asleep when I wrote this post (doesn't it show in the writing?): The director of this project, Walter Salles, has shot a documentary on his five year struggle to get this movie made. At least I'm excited about the documentary.

Browsings of the Day: Geocitiesized!

2010-05-12T13:12:00.037-05:00

We all remember geocities, right? Relive those days of old with a new website that allows you to Geocitiesize any webpage. It is as fun as it sounds. The above picture is from fukung.net. You can find more of their funny pictures at their facebook page.

Become a fan of The Nonpopulist on Facebook!

This handy poster is illuminating. Our government spends money poorly. [Death and Taxes]

Community is one of my favorite shows on television. I rarely do a post about it because there is such a saturation in the market. Every other blog in the world is posting about Alison Brie and her escapades, animated gifs, etc. Here's something different, an interview with Dan Harmon, the creator of Community. He is also one of my favorite people to follow on twitter. [Paste Magazine]

Phillies fan taser meme. A little past its prime at this point, but a nice review if you missed any of it. It's no Epic Beard Man, but it will do. [Holy Taco]

SBNation has conducted a scientific poll regarding adults and the wearing of sports jerserys. I'm a jersey t-shirt guy myself. [SBNation]

Vince at FilmDrunk always comes up with great titles for posts. This post is about a movie with Kristen Wiig and he titled it "Kristen Wiig Juggles Flaming Cum or Something." He's got a gift, people. [FilmDrunk]

A recent post I did over at EDGE, one of the other blogs I write for, on President Obama telling college graduates to not waste all of their time on or trust in new media. I pretty much blasted him. See for yourself. Girls and their slutty facebook drinking pictures are discussed. [EDGE]

A post I did for the other blog I write for, The Gally Blog, on the whole Lawrence Taylor situation. I have to warn you, it's tongue-in-cheek. Actually, I hope it's a little offensive. I just covered the story from a different angle. [The Gally Blog]

For a musical selection I give you Grand Buffet. I was riding around in my car the other day playing my ipod and Grand Buffet hit the speakers and my car took off like a rocket ship, the speakers melted onto my ball sack, and I turned potent again. From my cursory internet research I have determined that they are on some sort of hiatus. Also, they have almost no youtube videos with good sound quality.

Li(f)e by Sage Francis Comes Out Today

2010-05-11T17:00:00.035-05:00

What is this crap? A late night blog post? But you're only supposed to write blog posts from 10am-3:30pm EST on weekdays because that is when the eastern seaboard has their c*cks in their hands at the workplace as they kill America instead of keeping this country great. Yeh, I'm on to you, eastern seaboard. You're on notice, a$$bags. And you better get used to late night and even lower quality blog posts as I am hopefully rejoining the regular work force soon. That is if I even continue to waste enough time on the internet to write blog posts. I may retire. I'll let you know by training camp. /FAVRE'D.

The new Sage Francis album, Li(f)e (to be read: Life is a Lie,) was released today. Sage Francis is an independent hip-hop artist I have liked for several years. I've seen him in concert about 3 or 4 times. I enjoy his music to the point I feel personally invested in what he does. Here are a few reasons I think you should enjoy him as much as I do.

1. f*ck clear channel: Sage named one of his tours F*ck Clear Channel. That's pretty cool.
2. epiphany count: I got into Sage when I was in college. A friend and eventual roommate and I had this thing going where would listen to a Sage Francis song and count the epiphanies. His music is deep enough where you can get incredible things out of his music if you just listen. In other words it is not just words against a beat.
3. album with indie rockers: This new album, Li(f)e, features collaborations with many indie rock artists and the tour which officially starts tomorrow will feature a live band, Free Moral Agents. Among the artists he worked with on the album are:

Califone, Mark Linkous of Sparklehorse, Jason Lytle of Grandaddy, Chris Walla of Death Cab for Cutie, Tim Fite, Calexico, DeVotchKa, Yann Tiersen, Buck 65 and more. The album was produced by Brian Deck (Modest Mouse, Iron & Wine.) The cover art was done by renowned artist and illustrator Shepard Fairey.

4. "life is just a lie with an f in it and death is definite": That's a line from Sage's song The Cure. Lines like that illustrate number two.
Enjoy this video...

Man, if I actually take this job this blog is going to go down in flames. This is one of the crappiest posts I have ever put up, but I can't spend anymore time on it. Sage deserves better too.

Who Is This Owl City Guy Kidding?

2010-05-10T13:03:00.043-05:00

Let me tell you a story. I was driving in my car today on the way to a meeting of little importance and no longer having a sports talk radio station in range and the trip not being long enough to justify hooking up my ipod I turn on FM radio so I could hear some wacky noises in between songs that I'm too old to like. I'm 28, but crotchety way beyond my years. I happen upon a station with sort of a happy electronica beat and a familiar voice. I think to myself, "I've heard this before. It sounds like Postal Service. I didn't know they had a new album. Of course how would I know if they have a new album or not. It's not like I troll message boards for news about Postal Service."
Then the song ends, but what is this? The DJ says "that was Owl City." Say whaaa? Maybe they changed the name for Postal Service to Owl City because of some sort of legal issue with the United States Postal Service. I resolve to inquire further on the matter once I get to a computer. Now I am up to speed on the whole situation and find that the Owl City and Postal Service are completely different groups that sound exactly alike. I plan to set the internet ablaze with my findings, but of course everyone has already commented on it. I am the last person to be aware. The funny thing is the Owl City guy, Adam Young, denies he is completely ripping of Postal Service but cites them as an influence. Way to stick to your whiny guns, douche.

"All this denial has me emotional."

Anyway, that's your whiny music update for the day. That Postal Service album was good, though.

Betty White Foretold Her Appearance on SNL Video/ I Am a Golden Girls' Fan

2010-05-07T10:53:00.041-05:00

Just in time for her Mother's Day weekend Saturday Night Live hosting spot, a Betty White post. It's like I plan this crap. I am not ashamed to admit I enjoy The Golden Girls. I use to watch it with my grandmother hilariously enough, and I still catch it once in a great while on syndication on the Women's Entertainment channel. The Golden Girls was a funny show, and Betty White regularly showed off her impeccable comedic timing on the series. And boy was she a looker back in her day (picture above). Hubba, hubba. You see, reader, being a nonpopulist is not about not liking anything that is popular and liking everything that is unpopular. On the contrary, to me the name nonpopulist means that I evaluate things on an individual basis and decide for myself if I like them trying my best to not be influenced by what other people think of said thing. So there that is.
With all of that being said I honestly never thought Betty White would get to host Saturday Night Live even after the massive internet uproar through Facebook on her behalf. Instead of supporting the cause I did an internet eye roll. But hey, it all worked out in the end for her, right? I am not making the same mistake on the Facebook group calling for Tim & Eric of Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job! Click on it. Like it. Don't underestimate the power of intertubes like I did.
So here is the video from The Golden Girls where Betty White predicts the future. Not really, but you'll see what I mean after you watch it.

Also, link to a bonus video of the final scene of The Golden Girls that I may or may not have just watched and cried about. Shut up!
Now's probably not the best time, but you can become a fan of The Nonpopulist on Facebook! The only requirement is that you have a pulse and some cigs.

An Internet Belletrist Creates and Settles an Argument about an Unimportant Topic

2010-05-06T12:07:00.001-05:00

Roger Ebert has been carrying on about video games and their status as art it seems since time immemorial. I have tried my best to let it go without comment, but his original post on the subject is dated April 16, 2010. He has since retweeted about it over a dozen times. He won't let it die, and why should he? He has almost 4,000 comments on that entry alone so you can chalk this up to pure envy if you like. You should definitely read his piece since it will help inform the discussion I will attempt to have here and it is well-written, as most of his pieces are. So why would I put everyone's favorite Twitterer and recent winner of the Webby Person of the Year Award on blast? Let me get a few disclaimers out of the way before I go any further:

I'm not an internet or real life bully by nature, and that is not what this post is about. I take issue at the premise of the argument and why 'video games as art' even needs discussion.
I have read Ebert's reviews before and enjoyed them. I have also followed him on twitter for several months. I even use to watch At the Movies and liked it.
No matter what you read after the current bullet list this post is not about hating on Ebert so much as the origins of argument of the video games as art debate. That is to say this is not another 'Ebert is old and doesn't get it argument.' I'm not internet attacking Ebert, but I am also not going to coddle his e-balls like everyone else does. It's like people are afraid to cross him online.
I am not a hard-core gamer. I don't own a video game console. I have 4 PC games, one of which I play with any regularity, Left 4 Dead 2. Oooohh, I put the title in italics, does that mean it's art now?

The origins of the video games as art debate are suspicious at best. Not that it matters at this point, but a few people spouting off a faulty premise does not an issue that needs addressing make. No one is bringing their video games to Cannes to screen them. The people at EA are not wearing thick black frame glasses, berets, and going to coffee shops to cut themselves. Who said a video game is art anyway? From the second paragraph in Ebert's entry it appears two people on record made that assertion and prompted Mr. Ebert to write a post. I wonder if Ebert knew the all along his entry would be viewed as an attack on video games and cause gamers to put down their energy drinks, come to his blog, and comment so that they may stumble upon something that actually is art and quit wasting their lives playing video games.
Most people play video games simply to shoot shit or gather crystals and orbs to pass the time and have fun.. When I tell a friend about a video game I don't cut off my ear lobe and send them a letter advising him if we play this video game we may be moved to tears and be bosom buddies forever. I send an email and say, "Check out all this shit blowing up and all of these zombies we can shoot. Kick ass, bitch." It's not serious. My friends and I get drunk and play until 3am in the morning about once every two months at this point. We are old enough that it is not a focal point but more of an excuse to hang out and talk shit online- pure mindless entertainment. Even at the point where I was playing video games with the most frequency if someone would have asked me if I thought video games were art I probably would have retorted something like, "Is an anus a vagina? Why are we even talking about this?"
So now that Roger has generated this argument out of nothing, he proceeds to play you all for fools. I'm sure he had to expect people would just call him old and accuse him of "not getting it." Many commenters on his post played right into his hands. He continually pwned gamers short on defenses thought Twitter, the noobs.
The whole argument is pointless, though. Let me see if I can use a correlative metaphorical argument to demonstrate how I see this whole back and forth.

Person 1 (Ebert): "Hey, I don't think Gatorade is soup."

Person 2 (Many commenters on Ebert's video game post): "Really? Well, I never in all my... Certainly it shares so many characteristics with soup. It is made in a similar way. Well, have you tried the new G2? Try that and tell me it's not soup.

Person 3 (me): "It's not soup. It's Gatorade. It's different than soup. They have being mostly liquid in common, but that is about all."

Video games use images and sounds like some forms of art, but it has never even entered anyone's mind that a screen capture of Halo should be hanging in The Louvre. Hey, internet, forks are not combs. Do you want to fight about it? "... but that bird in The Little Mermaid said they were." Yes, I have watched The Little Mermaid, and it was obvious the bird was pulling that statement out of his butt. I have a little sister and growing up I was made to watch the whole Disney animated catalog with her multiple times. The Fox and the Hound will probably still make me cry if I watch it right now. I had almost every line from Aladin and Beauty and the Beast memorized for a while also. Go ahead. Make fun of me. I am so gobsmacked with the internet right now.

Happy Cinco de Mayo Video!

2010-05-05T18:07:00.002-05:00

I got you a Cinco de Mayo present. Enjoy. I'm about to go eat some nachos and speak Spanish.

Which Parkour Video Is Better?

2010-05-04T12:20:00.002-05:00

Both of these videos are great, but for different reasons. Parkour is "the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle within one's path by adapting one's movements to the environment"according to Wikipedia. So for all I know Parkour could have been Miss America 1998, and the Wikipedia entry has only been edited to make it seem like the physical activity that was a fad, then made fun of, then came back as again but with people realizing it's still kind of supposed to be made fun of, and was recently featured on another crappy episode of The Office (thus explaining the hot picture of Jenna Fischer above.) I'll let you decide which of these Parkour videos is better.
The first features Damian Walters. He is more than just another parkour (I don't even think it should be capitalized, should it?) guy. He looks like a gymnast and he is a stuntman too, I think. This is a must-see video.

My friends made fun of me when I sent them that video. Screw them, right? That was awesome.
The other video is also great. Check it.

Now that was nice. I'd like to see these two compete. In fact, I would pay to see it... like $5.

Wait, There's Spam Death Threats Now?

2010-05-03T14:28:00.000-05:00

We all receive spam messages in our email everyday, but some stand out more than others. I was glancing at my gmail spam folder today (which I have found to have the best spam filtering of any free email program) and noticed something different than the ordinary "Come look at my webcam, pervert" and "Make millions on the internet using the same scam I am using right now" junk. O, I almost forgot the Olivia Wilde sexy tits and lesbian make out with Megan Fox while Christina Hendricks watches with her big boobs spam (hello Google search perverts!) This spam message was different because it was an actual death threat. Wouldn't it be noble if it were a death threat because I had hard-hitting insight and commentary on our world today? I think it would be, but no, this seems too vague and the English too broken to be directed at your beloved internet partisan, The Nonpopulist. The picture above is the image of Mohammed which South Park was going to use for their 200th episode, but Comedy Central decided to play it safe and censor the image so as not to offend the Islamic community/ get blown the crap up. I post in now because if I am going to get death threats they might as well be substantive. Here is the text of the email death threat I received:

How are you.
Am very sorry for you my friend, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply.As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL/ASSASSINATE you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.
Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he want you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other necessary information's we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.
I called my client back and ask him of you email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION.
GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

KILL/ASSASSINATE me? Little old me? But, why? ...Wait, so now I'm innocent? Why are you emailing me with a chance to pay my way out? Is it all about the money in your killer-for-hire business? You are playing a dangerous game going behind the back of your client to give me a chance to save my own life, but I am grateful for the opportunity. Allow me to plead. I have a wife, and I have not yet impregnated her with my seed so that my name may carry on. I am an ok person. Some people think I am a know-it-all asshole, though. I drink a lot. I use tobacco products from time to time. I have little drive and motivation to succeed, but I enjoy having consciousness. Wait a minute, you're English syntax is falling apart here, man. How am I supposed to take your assassin business seriously if you can't even speak Anglish? So 7:30 is make out time? Nice, I'll give your mom a call then. I don't think I will be meeting your demands, though, as it has already been four days since you emailed this warning. I don't much about your industry, but I would assume follow-through is important, wuss.
Now since all of that serious business is done, bask in the awesomeness of this Youtube clip of a poor man's Soul Train dancing to "It's Time for the Percolator." I dare you to make it through the whole video. You don't have the balls!

How Is Everything Zach Galifianakis Does Funny?

2010-04-30T10:55:00.029-05:00

Zach Galifianakis is probably one of the funniest people alive. Being funny seems so effortless for him, but I know it can't be. I'm sure he works very hard at what he does. He seems as effortlessly funny as I am effortlessly unfunny. I pose one question. Has anyone ever seen something in which he is not funny? I am open to being proved wrong, but I doubt anyone can produce something for me to watch where Zach Galifiankis is not going to make me laugh. Some of his more recent highlights include his "Between Two Ferns" web series (pictured above and for which he was recently nominated for a Webby award,) The Hangover which I only recently saw and liked, but the thing he has done which made me laugh the most is his comedy DVD Live at the Purple Onion. I laughed more watching that DVD than when the Broncos drafted Tim Tebow and every season of The Office combined. Of course, I don't find The Office funny. They could easily make a funny show, but choose to do otherwise. My meaningless critiques aside, here is a video I found on Funny or Die of Zach discussing physical comedy with short appearances from Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn (from The Sarah Silverman Program.)

Zach Galifianakis on Physical Comedy from Zach Galifianakis

Be warned, there is some brief partial male nudity so the video is probably not safe for work unless you work at a company that works with male nudity, queer. O wait, that's supposed to go before the video. Why do I always mess that up?

Old Dirty Bastard: The Drunken Master Style, Son

2010-04-29T11:45:00.010-05:00

This video features Wu-Tang powerhouse/ rapper of lore Old Dirty Bastard aka Dirt McGirt aka Osirus aka Big Baby Jesus aka Dirt Dog aka Russell Jones (that's all I can remember off of the top of my head) freestyling on the old Yo MTV Raps program in what he termed to be a "drunken master style." No doubt he was practicing that particular style during this freestyle. What's amazing is he is still lucid enough to put together a solid effort. The only disappointing part of this video is Ed Lover comes in and makes him stop. Just let Osirus go until he doesn't want to go anymore.

ODB RIP, Wu-Tang Forever.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day: Web Soup Joke and Gillian Jacobs Gif

2010-04-28T18:18:00.002-05:00

Many of you may be aware of the television show Web Soup that airs on G4TV on Wednesday nights. You may also be aware they have a segment titled "Twittershots" where they post a video the prior week on twitter with the intent of using three jokes from twitter users on the show. I have tweeted a joke to the show a few times and 75% of the time I feel the jokes I tweeted are better than the ones used on the show. The only conclusion I can draw from this is they only check the tweets during a certain time period and choose the best joke from that small window. With that being said, here is the video they are going to use for "Twittershots" on tonight's show followed by my joke.

The joke I tweeted for them to use is, "@websoup now let's see you hit the broad side of that pool without a man's hand on your ass." I guarantee that is funnier than the jokes they will use unless they actually pick me this time. The show airs Wednesdays at 8 EST.

A 24-hour documentary channel? Yes, please. It's times like these I am glad I have DirectTV. [Documentary Channel]

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park, are facing death threats after using Mohammad in a recent episode. My advice to the guys is keep up the good work, and if you need to hide somewhere come to the South where they have guns and dislike Muslims. [WWTDD]

A well thought-out and nicely executed flow chart on which summer action movie is right for you. Funny stuff. [Vulture Blog]

Conan O'Brien got a letter asking him to prom a few years ago. He responded. The response note will now be moved the Library of Congress. [Letter of Note]

Hackers catching heat. [Alt Report]

This was interesting to me. Wikipedia article on Werner Erhard and The Collection of Crazy People Known as Scientology. [Wikipedia]

A collection of pictures that indeed made me say WTF. [Regretful Morning]

Jeff Zucker, keep Conan O'Brien's name out of your damn mouth. Just shutup. [Vulture Blog]

Boaterhome? Boaterhome.

2010-04-28T11:02:00.057-05:00

Have you always wanted to be king of the road? Have you failed miserably at every attempt? What you need is the Boaterhome. The 1987 Sport King Boaterhome to be exact. It's a motor home, but it's also a boat. Quit being a bitch on the road and\or water! Man up with comfort, style, and presence. Show the road, water, and all drivers therein you have a pair of balls that ladies enjoy servicing with the Boaterhome.
Bidding for this majestic land behemoth is currently at $21,000. "$21,000?!?!?!? I'd be a fool not put in a bid," is what you might be saying. Actually, you'd be a pussy, and my advice is to not be a pussy in front of your children. That causes all sorts of developmental problems. There were only 21 of these recreational super vehicles made. That's rarified air you could be driving and boating in. But wait, there's more.
From the Ebay listing:

"The Boaterhome is a 1987 Ford Econoline E-350 Van with a launchable 28’ Sport King inland Cruiser self contained boat.

On the land you use it as a motorhome, and when you get to the boat ramp, just back down into the water and the boat floats off in under 2 minutes."

You still have about 23 hours to make the Boaterhome your statement on the road. There have been over twenty bids, so you may have some steep competition out there.
Warning: the Boaterhome Sport King will not start if you are impotent. The potency sensor in the seat can not be disabled.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&_rdc=1&item=190390193919&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fshop.ebay.com%3A80%2F%3F_from%3DR40%26_trksid%3Dp3907.m570.l1313%26_nkw%3D190390193919%26_sacat%3DSee-All-Categories%26_fvi%3D1&viewitem=

Did I just do a free commercial post for something awesome? Yes, I did. Thanks to "Thousand-Yard Stare" Bill for the link.

Conan Tour Update: I Still Can't Go, Am Envious

2010-04-27T19:23:00.070-05:00

I'm still sad I can't go to any of Conan's tour stops. In fact, a tear just dropped in my beer. I'm seeing all of these poor quality videos fans are posting on Youtube, (although I appreciate the effort) and it only intensifies the waves of self-pity I feel. Proximity is not an issue. Conan's tour is coming to a city within reasonable driving distance. The bigger issue was my lack of money around the time the tickets went on sale. Now I could afford it but alas, I will have to make due with bouncy videos with either too loud or too low audio. Sad sigh... Here is one of the latest videos I have found that appears to be a video intro Conan O'Brien uses to open the show.

There is a lot of Conan news out there nowadays, but only here at The Nonpopulist can you find such a downer post. Let me add something different to this sad sack post to make it sadder, but also uplifting. I looked for a reference for this online a few days ago, but couldn't find anything so this will just be hearsay until I can find something backing it up. Shortly after 9/11, maybe even a few days after, when people were still scared to even get on airplanes I remember a story about Conan O'Brien being in an airport and being approached by an employee of an airline or the airport (again, fuzzy on the details, this is from memory) after recognizing him. The employee asked for Conan's help because there was a room of people that were scared to fly, many of them emotional. Conan complied, but I can picture him looking puzzled at what he could do to help but doing it because he knew he should. In his mind he probably just turned on monologue Conan and went in the room hoping for the best. The only thing I know was said by Conan was one of his signature lines that he doesn't use much anymore, but always said it in a higher-pitched voice, "Be cool, my babies." That is one of the coolest things done by anyone, anywhere, at any time. It still tugs on my heart strings. Conan is a class act, and that story for which I can't find any substantiation proves it.
Also, Conan is going to be on 60 Minutes this Sunday, May 2nd, and they may have to blur his face out in promos for the show since his interview gag order isn't lifted until May 1st. [Movieline]

Johnny Cash Project is a Freaking Cool Tribute

2010-04-26T10:55:00.015-05:00

There is no way for me to prove it, but I liked Johnny Cash before it got cool a few years back, not long before, but still before. Now that he has fallen out of buzz-worthiness I can safely go back to being a fan. Walk the Line with Joaquin (pronounced JOE-ah-quin) Phoenix was an abortion, and I hated people fawning over it. Jamie Foxx did a better job in Ray. I was in college when Cash died, and I remember it kind of affecting me. I was sad. I'm not a fortress of snark, after all. When I was goofing around trying to be a musician in college two out of the first three songs I performed live were Cash songs. I played and sang Folsom Prison Blues, Drive On, and squeezed in Keep on Rockin' in the Free World by Neil Young. It was fairly mediocre, and that's probably remembering it through rose-colored glasses. The most vivid memory I have around the time Cash's death was beginning work on a short story about him a few days before his death. I may have cursed him the same way I did Joey Ramone who also died from cancer while I was in college the day after my roommate and I put up a Ramones poster in our dorm room. True story. Weird, huh? I never finished the short story. It didn't seem a fitting tribute at the time, but this site I found does seem like a fitting tribute. It may be because I envy people who can draw, but I think what they have done at The Johnny Cash Project is so cool. I recommend starting at this link to get an idea of what's going on with the site. It's a great site, and I really appreciate the work they have put into it. Here's the Man in Black himself performing the same song I covered but doing an infinitely better job of it in 1994 at The Viper Room in Los Angeles. Here's Drive On.

I would have put a video or pictures from the site up, but I couldn't find a way to embed them, and I think they want it that way. For something so cool, I can respect it.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day: Draft Hangover Style

2010-04-24T15:26:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting on the internet and watching the draft anyway so I might as well do a post. This is the most exciting draft I can remember. The wheeling and dealing has been dizzying. This is an off-the-cuff reaction, but this is probably the best draft for the Lions in the past decade. The Suh and Jahvid Best picks alone were great for the Lions. I like what the Falcons did, but I have been accused of being too high on Sean Weatherspoon. A lot of people are singing the Seahawks' praises, and while they made a lot of moves that improve the team and get some picks for the future, their actual picks aren't really blowing my skirt up. My favorite team, the Titans, had a decent draft. I would have been happy with Pierre-Paul or Derrick Morgan as long as they got a defensive end who will make an impact right away. As far as the teams I am laughing at the most after the draft... the Broncos drafting Tebow has had me laughing every time I think about it since Thursday night. The Raiders actually drafting good players and making good value picks in the later rounds with Bruce Campbell has me flabbergasted as well. Here's some links.

Mirror man. That is all. [Scene 360]

MC Sole has some tips on how to keep things afloat during these tough economic times. He's been a favorite underground/independent/avant-hop/MC of mine for a while. [Sole One]

I'm about to link another blog's post of a collection of links. Space time continuum, do your thing. This is where the above Denzel Washington Venn Diagram came from. [FilmDrunk]

A creative, albeit a sick way to bury someone. Tibet, you need saving! [MBV Travel]

The latest Facebook news, and no it's not the bikini picture sorter for which we've all been hoping. [ReadWriteWeb]

Since they're not allowed to have mean, scary guns (except for hunting, I think) this is how people in England are forced to defend themselves. I give them points for creativity. [James McAdam]

And a music selection for today from the aforementioned MC Sole.

Left 4 Dead 2 News

2010-04-23T14:16:00.010-05:00

Here is something I never do: post about video games. I rarely do it because I am not a gamer. I like video games. They're fun. I just barely play them. The last video game I bought was Left 4 Dead 2 last year for the computer. I had purchased the first Left 4 Dead at the behest of some friends and had so much fun drinking, talking smack with random people online, and yelling at each other over voice chat while we were playing that I was kind of hooked. The game and the sequel are fun. There's not too much story. You don't have to go get a bunch of crystals and potions to shove up your butt to keep you safe from warlocks or any shit like that. It's a shoot-'em-up game where you and three other characters kill zombies. Great premise, right? Ars technica appears to be the best source of news about the game I have seen, and I only really see it because I follow them on twitter. It's not like I'm out trolling for these tidbits. Now that the game has been out for a while they are going to put out updates called 'mutations.' Cool, I'm down. Left 4 Dead 2 also has another update called 'The Passing' that will bring back the characters from the first installment of the game. Here's a video I made about it. Or a video I got the embed code for, you decide.

So to recap, a blog that barely anyone reads and has Jack Kerouac as an avatar and mascot just did a post about a zombie video game. Take it sleazy, internet.

Can You Do This with Your Mouth? Does Anyone Want to Do This with Their Mouth?

2010-04-22T10:07:00.010-05:00

"I'm the turkey call mc, and I'm here to say, that I'm the dorkiest hunter in the USA." Damn it. You sit on a video for a little bit and then you see it on Web Soup or Tosh.0 and then it looks like you're just posting videos from those shows. Well, that's exactly what I'm doing because this video of a hilariously redneck hunter duo busting turkey calls over a beat box was the video from last night's Web Soup they post the prior week ~~so they can steal twitter follower's jokes~~ to allow amateur joke writers to get their joke read on television. Tosh.0 and Web Soup are two of the better shows on television right now (what a sad indictment on that industry!), but have you noticed how they have some videos you saw like four years ago. It's almost like we're waiting for them to catch up, like when you show someone a website and they proceed to send you every link from said website with the comment, "Look at this! LOLOZLOZLOZLOZL" Yeh, it's still annoying, Barry. But let me not hate too much. Being able to replicate a turkey call that well is a skill. Is that positive enough for you? Youtube says this video is a year old. When are these guys going to hit us with the remix?

This Week in Police Brutality: Double Amputee Tased by Police

2010-04-21T13:00:00.008-05:00

I have heard of excessive force, but this is almost cartoonish in its overkill. Police in America have been getting more and more taser-happy, recently using the device on a pregnant woman, an elderly lady who refused to sign a ticket, and now on a guy who has no legs. "I have no legs, I have no legs." Anyone who gets that reference- you are sick. How much of a threat could an officer honestly think a legless man is? A much more likely scenario is the guy just got a new taser and just wanted to try it out like a new bike on Christmas morning. The video of the man describing the incident is sickening. I feel so bad for the guy. The cops drug him out of his wheelchair and put him on the ground, but his pants were pulled down in the process so his dick was exposed. Maybe the neighbor lady got a peek and liked what she saw. Silver lining? I realize that is in poor taste, but I'm trying to not be such a downer what with the oppressive police state in this country going unchecked. According to the Merced Sun-Star the officers involved stayed on the job even though they were being investigated by their department's internal affairs division. Wow. Vic Mackey from The Shield can't believe they get to still be cops after beating up a legless guy, hurting his shoulder, and tasing him. Check out the video, but you may want to have a tissue or some medication that calms you down ready as it will either depress you or enrage you. I first saw this story on 3Report.

The NFL Scheduled Prematurely Ejaculated

2010-04-20T18:10:00.015-05:00

The NFL schedule just came out. Sploosh. A little early, NFL, but I guess you wanted to steal ESPN's thunder they were planning with their schedule release show. At that landing page you click on what team's schedule you want to view. They have a new map feature this year that allows you to view where the team will travel and which teams will travel to them. You can toggle the map between viewing cities your team will travel to, teams that will travel to your team's city, or both. Other notes include me looking at week 17 and realizing just how good the decision was to make all week 17 games divisional games. Holy crap. And the Christmas Day game is going to be the Cowboys at the Cardinals. Damn, the Cowboys have to work every holiday. I hope it's better than the Chargers at the Titans matchup last Christmas. That game was craptastic.

4/20 Post: The NFL and Pot and Hypocrisy

2010-04-20T13:50:00.061-05:00

To me pot was a high school thing. I haven't touched the stuff since then, so pardon me if I eye roll at the mention of (huh-huh) 4/20. Pot has been making news recently in the sports world and the real world and today being a holiday for dank bakers everywhere I thought I would speak on it.
Alternet is an alternative news website that I check regularly. It's sort of like Deadspin, but with real news. That is a compliment to both sites. The title of this article from Alternet gets you thinking all by itself. Imagine what the article will do to you. "NFL Hates Pot, but Loves Alcohol and Violence." It's true. Look at how many beer sponsors the NFL has. The NFL wants fans to get tanked up on beer at games, but then comes out with a NFL fan conduct policy, the buzz kills. Screw that noise. The last two NFL games I have been to I got plenty drunk and cursed loudly and had a verbal altercation with other fans at one game where I was rooting for the visitor. I made an ass of myself and had a good time. The league's stance on the players is where the main hypocrisy is at. The best line from the Alternet story is

"This is the league’s policy. Go to a club and drink – No problem. Stay at home and enjoy a little marijuana – Get suspended."

I would add don't sexually assault anyone or get a DUI when you drink and it's all good. Despite the NFL's drug testing policy and consequences to potential endorsements and public image current and potential NFL players still smoke hydro. Deadspin breaks down. how this year's draft class is rumored to have many pot users among them. How dumb do you have to be to smoke pot when it could ruin your chances to make millions of dollars and be able to smoke pot for the rest of your life after a few years of work?
That's deep, bro. Have you ever thought about, like, how if animals could talk like on cartoons then the world would be in better harmony? Animals could tell us when people are hurting them and the environment. And then we could all just chill, bro. That was my best stoner impersonation. It sucked because I don't smoke pot. Now if it's ever legalized I may have to revisit some high school glory days. I hear a lot more mainstream support for legalizing pot nowadays than I have ever heard before. It may happen one day.

This Octopus Says 'Yoink' to Diver's Camera

2010-04-19T12:09:00.000-05:00

Even our reefs aren't safe anymore. This is an underwater video of an octopus taking a camera away from a diver who disturbed its quiet time. The cameraman 'got sprung on' (remember that phrase?) which would have made me poop my underwater diaper- if that's even a thing. The soundtrack to the video is National Geographic for the first minute, but after the octopus gets the camera the music feels like I'm watching a Wes Anderson movie which is fitting, I guess. The craziest part of the video is the diver chases after the octopus and gets the camera back. The cameraman pulls a harpoon gun on the octopus during the attempt to get the camera back, a great tactical self-defense maneuver, but never shoots it because he was worried about the octopus uploading the video to Youtube. The uploader writes the history books!

Beat Generation Update: Kerouac Football and Bukowski Stamp

2010-04-16T10:30:00.001-05:00

Breaking news about dead people: Even though I have a picture of Jack Kerouac as my avatar on twitter and a picture of him on the right side of this blog I neglect to do many posts on him because I don't think people want to read anything about him. I do, though, and what would be the point of having Kerouac as an avatar if I never say anything about him? Maybe I should change it since I really don't have much to do with my favorite literary genre, the beats. This blog has gone in a different direction and I guess it doesn't make much sense to keep any kind of association with Kerouac or the other beats. With that being said, I enjoy a certain blog and literary journal called Beatdom. They have had two recent pieces that caught my eye.
Not everyone knows that Kerouac played football. He was a running back in high school and at Columbia University for a short time before dropping out of college to write and be beat-y. It's true. Beatdom recently published an interview with a guy who played football against Jack Kerouac in high school. The interview is very entertaining. Among the highlights is Kerouac's high school nickname- "Twinkle Toes." I didn't know anyone ever actually had that nickname. Also, the old crotchety guy they interviewed that played against Kerouac said the bottom of piles in football back then were extremely dirty with biting, punching, and nut shots, and then called current generation of football players "panty wastes." He said Kerouac was especially dirty and the other players respected him because of it. Imagine that. The best part of the interview by far is this question and answer.

Q: I’m finding it kind of hard to believe Kerouac was such a viscous menace after reading his books.
A: He was a beast and a man’s man until he moved to NYC and linked up with that goddamn no-good Beatnik Allen whatever-the-hell-his-name-is and he started filling his head up with that love, peace and happiness crapola!

Hilarious. I encourage you to click above and read the whole interview.
Now on the Bukowski stamp front. How freaking awesome would it be if Charles Bukowski, the "bad boy of poetry," was on a postage stamp? He worked at the Post Office for a period and there was a petition I'm fairly sure I signed to try to get one of my favorite poets on a stamp, but it fell short of the 10,000 signature goal. Good news, though. The people who started the petition submitted the petition to the USPS and they are going to consider a Bukowski stamp. Nicely done, guys.

Best Video of the Last Rolling 30-Day Period

2010-04-15T15:38:00.004-05:00

I've got your next Youtube star right here, It's ItsKingsleyBitch.

I want to be this guy's dear friend. But seriously, he is sooo right about skinny jeans. And he has a strong Chat Roulette take. What is up with all of the penises on there? Don't mind that Kingsley has a stereotypical family reunion t-shirt on. Judge him on his content like the DVD cover opinion and throw- hilarious. I could probably listen to this guy's opinions all day. Kingsley is a better belletrist than Roger Ebert! There, I said it. He's relevant too. Just listen to him carry on about texting. Whoa! He fininshes with a lot of venom directed at birds and how early they get up. I need a smoke after that whirlwind. That's a Youtube subscribe. I'll update when Kingsley has more wrongs to right. ITSKINGSLEYBITCH! He should start every video off by yelling that.

You Know What Really Brings the Crowds to Minor League Baseball Games? Dogs Pooping

2010-04-15T11:09:00.000-05:00

Forget mini bat giveaway night. Move $1 beer night to next week. Actually, make $1 beer night every night, but I've got a new promotional gimmick night for you, minor league baseball parks- come see a dog poop on the field night! This video is from a Northwest Arkansas Naturals game during what was actually called the "Iams Adoptable Pet of the Game."

If that soundtrack sounds familiar to you it's because it is "Yakety Sax" and is also known as the Benny Hill song. It takes this video from good to great in my opinion. Hey, at least the dog knows to go on the lawn. and not in the dugout.

KFC's Double Down: My Experience

2010-04-14T16:29:00.001-05:00

The new Double Down sandwich from KFC has been getting a lot of attention (mostly negative) with its nationwide release this past Monday, April 12th. The sandwich is unique in that it is a sandwich with no bread, but instead 2 chicken breasts holding the contents of bacon, cheese, and a special sauce that I think is some sort of mayonnaise base. I have heard all of the negative comments people have made such as, "This is the reason America is fat." Well, no, this sandwich just became a reality so all of the overeating and lack of exercise before this point is technically what made America fat. I admit this sandwich will probably not help the obesity of America, but I still had to try it for the novelty. I did the same when I heard about the double mcgangbang sandwich from McDonald's which they don't advertise but should, and I wrote a post about that, so why not do the same with my Double Down experience?
Once I get my food from the drive-thru (which took a while) I open the box so that I may behold the behemoth. It looks big, and it should be big because the combo meal was $6.99. You have priced me out for the future already charging that much, KFC. On my way home I remember that when I tried the double mcgangbang (can't type that enough) I got a Sparks from the gas station. I remember I'm out of beer so that's a good enough excuse to stop and pick up a Sparks while I'm at it. Yay, now it's a tradition. If you've never had Sparks it's a malt liquor energy drink. I highly recommend them. You can learn more by going to a gas station and picking one up. On the way home I can't help but try one of the fries. I don't go to KFC all that much so I had no idea their fries were so good. They're more like potato wedges actually. When I get home and get ready to start eating I realize the Double Down doesn't look all that big. The flavor of the breading on the chicken is good, but I can do without the sauce on the sandwich. Midway through I am starting to feel my stomach fill up. No need for dinner tonight.

I have also drunk most of the Sparks at this point so I am starting to feel a little buzz and the carbonation bubbles are taking up precious room in my gullet. I finish the sandwich and fries and lean back and pray that this monster digests. Overall I give the sandwich a B-, but the experience an A-. People need to calm down about this sandwich. Most people that actually try one will not go back a second time. I won't. Health nuts need to calm down in general. I'm not saying we should all be fat tubs, but anyone can die in a car accident. Limiting your calorie intake and working out two hours a day for your whole life won't matter much then, will it?

Stupid Baby Names Reaching a Fever Pitch

2010-04-14T10:30:00.006-05:00

Hey ladies who are currently pregnant or may become pregnant and significant others, there is not a contest to see who can name their child the dumbest thing. If there were such a contest Gwyneth Paltrow would have already won it when she named her kid 'Apple.' It's getting harder and harder to look at people with a straight face when they tell me they named their child something like 'Maize' or 'Cerulean.' Wait, you named your child after a name for corn no one uses or a crayon color you only get with the really big packs of crayons? Why has naming a child something offbeat moved from mere isolated incidents to an out and out trend? The line is being blurred on what a normal name even is, and I really don't see a reversal in this trend. I'm not saying every boy should be named 'John' and every girl named 'Elizabeth', but 'Toshiba' is crossing a line. You may be wondering why I have a picture of Anna Paquin in this post. Well, besides sexing this place up a bit it is because of this Entertainment Weekly article in which Vlada Gelman discusses the recent spike in parents naming their girls 'Sookie,' the name of Paquin's character on her HBO series True Blood. It doesn't matter how much you like a television show, you don't name your kid after a character on one. Name your pet rabbit 'Sookie,' not your child whom you love and want to look out for. Parents are supposed to feel an obligation to protect their offspring, not make a joke by naming them after a flash-in-the-pan excuse to see some violence and boobs on HBO's Sunday night lineup.
I would give parents who are mulling over names like 'Tangerine' or 'Letter Opener' the traditional warning that naming your child something stupid may get them beat up or made fun of on the playground, but with the proliferation of weird names the kids who have normal names are going to have sore arms from all of the punching. If parents are really having a hard time with names you could just open up the Bible. Nehemiah is a kick ass name.

Conan's New Show on TBS and First Tour Stop

2010-04-13T13:02:00.000-05:00

TBS? Really Conesy? Conan announced yesterday via twitter and several news outlets have confirmed that Conan will indeed host a late night show this fall but not on Fox as had been rumored. No, TBS is the winner of the Conan O'Brien sweepstakes, although I simply cannot imagine what made TBS, the Superstation and place where I watched Atlanta Braves baseball growing up, the better choice. I'll watch Conan anywhere he goes, but this decision is baffling to me. I'm honestly overwhelmed by the glut of Conan coverage available on the internet, and I have about 6 firefox tabs open to prove it . Where were you people months ago when I was emailing NBC and Hulu to make sure that me watching the show on Hulu counted toward the ratings or was kept track of in some way? I guess Conan has always been a periphery comedy source that people have taken him for granted. For me he was always a focus. Save for a few years before the existence of DVR and when crazy college life made it impractical to watch him I have been a regular viewer since about his 5th season at the old Late Night gig. I guess I'll remain hopeful since that what Conan's wish was in his last episode as Tonight Show host when he told me to "never be cynical." Here's some links worth reading I have collected.
Blog Critics'
Chocago Sun-Times
AltReport (joke)
Vulture Blog (with video)
Conan's first tour stop was last night and pictures and video have leaked already. Vulture Blog has a good post on it. I'm still bitter because I won't be able to attend the tour stop in my area.

I'm inconsolable right now. I hope things work for Conan on TBS. Maybe he chose them since it's not a major network and he will have a little more leeway since no one will be clamoring for his job besides George Lopez.

Tiger Woods Nike Commercial Redubbed

2010-04-12T13:21:00.019-05:00

Lost in the frenzy of people judging Tiger Woods' actions is the fact that golf is boring. The only thing worse than watching golf on television is having to play golf. Golf is almost a worse non-sport than driving (NASCAR) yet I am forced to hear about it every time I turn on the television or look at my twitter feed thanks to Tiger. The issue is not how many women with which Tiger has had sexy time. The issue is how much golf sucks. That is why I am happy to see the internet parody machine humming along and producing videos such as this one where the recent Nike advertisement that dubs one of Tiger's voicemails that leaked during the incident over the black and white footage of Tiger looking all serious. "Hey, look at me. I'm serious golfer man. I've got laser sharp focus and a libido that makes your dad seem gay. If you want to know anything look at the police report. I'm about to go hit a golf ball." I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not really into this today. Here's a picture of Elin that stirs my boner interest.

A Champagne Primer: What You Need to Know

2010-04-09T10:12:00.007-05:00

Whether it be a celebration such as New Year's Eve or a Sunday morning mimosa I look for any excuse I can find to enjoy a glass of champagne. Yes, I enjoy champagne, and I also realize that some people consider it a foo-foo or girly drink. I don't agree, although I am more likely to reach for a beer or whiskey I truly enjoy champagne. That's why I got excited when I picked up a Complex Magazine from a few months ago and they had an informational page about champagne. I specifically like the part where they give you advice on reading the label of a champagne bottle. Here is a sample of the wonderful information provided by Complex with some of my comments mixed in:

1. Vintage vs. Non-Vintage: Ummm, you only drink non-vintage so don't worry about this one. Vintage is the expensive stuff.
2. Sweet vs. Dry: This is a scale from the driest champagne type to the sweetest: extra brut (driest), brut, extra dry, sec, demi-sec, doux (sweetest).
3. Designation: The three choices here are premier cru (best), grand cru, and not rated. The designation is the quality rating of the vineyard in which the grapes were grown. Most of what regular people drink is not rated. Complex points out that if champagne is not rated it doesn't mean it's crap, it's just not rated. I think I had a grand cru one time at a tasting, but I can't remember for sure.
4. NM vs. RM: RM on the label means the grapes come from a single grower. NM means the grapes come from multiple growers. Again, you are probably not high class enough for one of these choices.

My enjoyment of champagne is but one of the many contrasts in my life. I am a walking juxtaposition. If nothing else, consider this a license to be a man and still enjoy champagne. I am secure enough in my manhood to admit I like champagne, read and write poetry, and own a bichon-frise. I also have a beard, like hot women, own guns, and scratch myself. Think I'm a wuss? Want to fight me? Remember, I have guns. My wife makes fun of me because I have these bitchy rules for mimosa consumption. I will list them here for posterity to laugh at.
1. There are no rules on orange juice to champagne ratio. Pour to taste.
2. Mimosas must be consumed only on Sunday with one exception- New Year's Day. Regardless of what day New Year's falls on, it is acceptable to have mimosas to begin the new year. If you haven't tried it I encourage you to get a nice mimosa buzz before you watch the NFL on Sunday. It's freaking awesome.
3. Mimosa consumption must begin before noon on Sunday. It can continue to through 2PM regardless of what time you start as long as it begins before noon. Did I just make too big of a deal out of champagne? Yes, I did.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-04-08T19:30:00.001-05:00

Latest post ever. My internet has been down most of the day so I have an excuse (as if you care.) The above video is Oasis' "Falling Down." This is one of the best music videos in recent memory. I am an incredible Oasis fan, but I didn't really like this song until I saw the video which is weird because I love every Oasis song.

Another profile on Conan. Not to get all fanboy on everyone, but I actually watched his shows.[New York Times]

Uproxx has a feature on the top ten reality TV celebrities that are most deserving of a grisly death. [Uproxx]

Tosh.0 gets renewed for a third season before the second one has even aired? That's a mandate! [WarmingGlow]

Kurt Sutter, creator and showrunner for Sons of Anarchy has a blog and, as you can imagine, it is awesome. Here is his latest entry on the recent lawsuit filed by Nicolette Sheridan against Marc Cherry. He succeeded in making it relevant. [Sutter Ink]

My latest entry at The Gally Blog about how depressing the America's Game: The Missing Rings and how depressing the series is. [The Gally Blog]

My Edge entry on the new Matt Nix show The Good Guys. I'm hoping it's going to be good. [Edge]

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-04-07T15:32:00.004-05:00

What's good, internet? Anyone got any anecdotal info on Salvia? I heard about it on a rerun of Tosh.0. Apparently this stuff is legal. If it's legal, sign me up.

I saw this picture posted on Postsecret's twitter feed. It was snapped at SXSW in Austin TX.

Net neutrality takes a step back. If there is anything to get passionate about, this is it, people. Get informed and get active. [AP via Google]
To take action go here- [Save the Internet]

Online glossary with some important internet lingo. This will help the elderly and oblivious. [ShaneBacon Tumblr]

The Tiger Woods soundboard. These are always fun for a few minutes. [Slate]

"Screw countercultures," says Chodin in this Uproxx feature. [Uproxx]

Cat in a polo shirt? Sure, why not. [h0rkblr]

Unreality has 8 funny Jorma Taccone videos. He' s one of the guys from Lonely Island and he is a writer on Saturday Night Live among other credits. [Unreality]

The inventor of box wine has passed away. Spout some out for the homie. RIP [Asylum]

Shutter Island Review

2010-04-07T11:00:00.026-05:00

Timely, huh? I don't get to the theater much and it seems like whenever my wife and I do decide it's time for a trip to the movies there is never anything good playing. I'm not falling for Hot Tub Time Machine. Repo Men looks like a 'wait until it airs on TNT' kind of movie even though I am a Whitaker fan. Clash of the Titans and She's Out of My League look horrible, and the rest of the movies showing are not even worth mentioning. Shutter Island won by default and the fact that Scorsese directed it and DiCaprio stars in it made me hopeful. Part of the problem of seeing movies late in their theater run is you inevitably hear that someone liked it or didn't like it and that will influence the movie-going experience. I did my best to put those things out of my mind with a large butter popcorn and some Reese's Pieces.
On to the spoilers...
The movie was visually untouchable. Lighting, cuts, and the other back end movie stuff were all on point. DiCaprio gets paid the big bucks because he owns movies. He owns the screen like Denzel Washington or Tom Hanks. His presence, essence, aura, whatever you want to call it bumps this picture up a few more notches than if someone else had played the lead role. As far as the story and genre the movie was a creepy thriller which is not quite a horror movie, not quite a psychological thriller. The story and feel of the film reminded me a little of The Number 23 with Jim Carrey. The twist at the end honestly caught me off guard, and that is one of the biggest compliments I can give a movie. Usually I can see it coming a mile away due to telegraphing from the writing or acting.
I was pleasantly surprised to learn Ted Levine played a part in this movie as the warden of Shutter Island. He is one of my favorite character actors. Bullet with Levine and Mickey Rourke is worth seeing on Levine's performance alone. I also just found out from his IMDB page Ted Levine has been in a lot of Monk episodes. I have never watched that show. After thinking about it I'm still not going to give it a chance even on the Levine cred.
The only question I was left with after Shutter Island was at the end. After thinking about it walking out to my car I determined DiCaprio's character chose the lobotomy because he did not want to remember the truth. I think the therapy worked, and he remembered everything. He just didn't want the knowledge of what really happened to his family, thus the original psychosis. I rated it 3 out of 5 on Netflix.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-04-06T15:06:00.001-05:00

Blogging at Buffalo Wild Wings has its advantages. I'm ready for my blogging endorsement deal.

A profile on Wire and Treme creator David Simon by New York Magazine. [New York Magazine]

The Whitest Kids U Know is airing on IFC so I have been watching this sketch show more frequently. Here is a clip I saw on a recently that is funny and offensive, especially at the end.

I don't know how many fans of the Left 4 Dead video game franchise are out there. I like it. In both editions of the game there is a zombie character called a witch. Someone decided to reenact the witch character in real life. They did a good job. The video is weird and freaky- just like the game. [Unreality]

Uproxx feature on mind-reading technology that will undo civilization as we know it [Uproxx]

I saw this "article" on five things not to do in academic writing and I went off. I can't stand this crap anymore.
Read the "article" here, and you can see why I got irritated. I commented on the "article" but in case they take it down I will reprint my comment here. "This is groundbreaking stuff. Avoid errors. I need to put this into practice since when I write informally as in an email to a friend purpossselyyy misspell wordsdsds so they don’t think I’m trying to front on them with my fancy spelling. I’m tired of this keyword and filler crap. People just posting content however thin it may be trying to get search engine optimization. Just go comment on other online communities or websites if you have trouble coming up with content. Avoid informal language in academic writing… is this site for 4th graders?"
Update: Ha, they commented back. I encourage you to comment on crap like this. These people should be shamed into taking it down. [Editing Angel]

I guess someone had to post something like this. Comedians had it good when Bush was in office compared to now with Obama. And Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.[Alternet]

My most recent post at Edge about The Losers. Comment on it for the love of all things holy. I can understand people not commenting here, but at Edge? [Edge]

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-04-05T13:10:00.001-05:00

You can feel the Duke hate calling in the air tonight, hold on. The NCAA men's basketball championship game is tonight. Tiger Woods had a press conference today. You know, I have always hated golf, but seeing Tiger's press conference today makes me dislike golf more. I don't care about the salacious stories surrounding his life recently. I'm not a player-hater. I just think he's a tool. People are also watching baseball today. I have not done that in a while and I still won't. The above hottie is Katy Mixon of Eastbound & Down fame. Kitty likes to scratchy.

Important news about doo-doo from Alternet, seriously. [Alternet]

My Gally Blog post from last week on fellow blogger Logic's comedy debut. [The Gally Blog]

Video from last night's Cleveland Show of the song "Balls Deep" featuring "No-tippin'" Scotten Pippen. Now all of the blogs with themes related to balls have a theme song, yay!

This article on blind people doing martial arts is dated April 5th, not April 1st. Either they have a problem with their publishing software or the story is real and blind people are going to know karate. [Trinidad & Tobago's Newsday]

My first post at Edge was about the upcoming host lineup on Saturday Night Live. I'm probably going to try do one a day and wait for the other new additions to come pick up the slack. Tunison was right. The cricket sounds are deafening. [Edge]

In case you missed it, here are LOL NCAA pictures from Daddy's Sugar Ball. These are funny. [Daddy's Sugar Ball]

A new novel, American Subversive, has one narrator who is a terrorist and one who is a blogger. [Good Reads]

That is all. Stay nonpopular, people. Post about Shutter Island coming up later today.

I Do Not Like The Office

2010-04-02T10:45:00.011-05:00

“Hey, let’s have the potential to make a hilarious show, but instead make it painfully uncomfortable to watch. Har, har. That would be fun. We’ll be like Andy Kaufman, but totes more rad.” That is what I imagine The Office writers’ room to be like. I bet they hipsterly say totes instead of totally. I have been watching the show for several seasons because my wife likes it, but I can not stand it any longer. The show actually makes me angry. There are plenty of funny moments. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy running “that’s what she said” into the ground as much as the next fellow, but their striving to make us, the viewers, uncomfortable has turned me off for good. The only bright spot for me is Mindy Kaling who plays Kelly. She is also a writer for the show. I like her character, but I also just plain have a thing for Indian chicks.

Even the occasional reader to this blog knows that I am already deep in hate with NBC after they crushed the dream of my comedy hero, Conan O’Brien, to host The Tonight Show for a reasonable amount of time instead of the seven months they gave him. I infamously made the claim that I would no longer watch NBC programming except for Community, Parks & Recreation, 30 Rock, and any NFL-related broadcasts and not support companies that advertise on NBC if I knew who they were and had an alternative to their products. It’s kind of hard to know if I am keeping the latter promise since I don’t watch NBC, but you get the idea of my level of hate, right? I have been breaking the first pledge by watching The Office for the sake of my wife but no longer. I refuse to be a pawn in your manipulative game, people associated with The Office. The last new episode from last week is a great example. The show started off funny. I was laughing a little, and then Michael went out to the car and put on the Kangol hat. That hat turned the show into a different show like Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top. It was damn near unwatchable after that. If I want to be that uncomfortable I would visit my in-laws. I don’t want to hear crap about me “not getting it.” Believe me, I get it. I’m an effin chevalier of comedy as far as your concerned. Well, not in doing comedy, but I’m a chevalier in appreciating it. The show where Michael had to tell the kids he couldn’t give them a scholarship from earlier in the season is the best proof of my point. Remind yourself with this video. This blog hasn’t been nonpopulist enough for my taste these days. I needed to find myself a little bit.

Here is the only clip I could find from that atrocious episode where Michael tells the kids he can not pay for their college after they had been banking on it since third grade. That is so funny. You guys should really delve into the world of bestiality. I hear there is a lot of comedy there ripe for the picking.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-04-01T16:15:00.000-05:00

Unhappy April Fool's Day! Let us all collectively give a sigh, eyeroll, and dismissive hand wank motion to one of the stupidest days of the year. I've only fallen for one April Fool's joke, and I'm not telling you what it was because it's embarrassing. I need some links to get me through the day, and I bet you do as well. Let me oblige you. In other news I just signed on to blog out with my balls out at The Edge. All that means is as The Nonpopulist's virus spreads across the internet, the host (this site) will become more and more sickly. It will stay alive and I will definitely use this site as an aggregate for my links as they appear elsewhere online.

The above picture was posted on Kurt Sutter's twitter account. He's the creator of Sons of Anarchy and offered Conan a guest spot on the show as an IRA gangster after his departure from NBC. I wish he would take him up on it.

The Hangover 2 is happening. I just recently saw the first one through the magic of Netflix. It was funny. Here's hoping #2 is as good. [FilmDrunk]

I like a good Tumblr site. I like animated gifs. Those two things combined equal love. I found this on Aziz Ansari's twitter feed. [gifs of popular rappers]

So hopefully the rumor that Michael Bay is doing a remake of Rosemary's Baby is just a rumor. Entertainment Weekly seems to think so [Entertainment Weekly]

In a post for The Gally Blog I detail some of NFL player Chris Johnson's demands before he will play next season for the Tennessee Titans. [The Gally Blog]

Rise of the 'Retrosexual.' Not much explanation needed to get you to click on this link. [WithLeather]

I'll leave you with a video of Noel Gallagher sans most of Oasis playing a gig at Royal Albert Hall to benefit the charity Teenage Cancer Trust. Please go solo, Noel. Please.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-03-30T14:30:00.021-05:00

Annie Wersching, now that is a rack on which I would like to put some spices. Am I doing this right? (In memory of 24 which is now in its last season)

I now write for The Gally Blog. I will try to keep up at least two posts a day here, but I am not making any promises. There will be another announcement concerning The Gally Blog and I in the coming weeks. There may even be an announcement to make concerning me writing for another site. I will let you know, mom. Here is my first post for The Gally Blog.

I am not necessarily a fan of MMA or UFC, but I am a fan of this post about the most recent UFC event as covered by noted internet personality Logic. [HammerFisted]

Some cool drawings of Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg [Beatdom]

Sarah Palin is really getting a reaity show. I thought all of the talk about it was merely speculation. Surely she has some sort of political strategist to let her know this is a bad idea. Or maybe she is crazy like a fox. [WarmingGlow]

Venn Diagram that attempts to explain the difference between nerd, dork, and geek. I thought these were supposed to be funny. This one is like a real one you would learn about in a textbook [GreatWhiteSnark]

It does not matter how nice you are, if you hack the first and only presidential twitter account, the Secret Service will want a word with you. I don't think they will be very nice either. [CNN]

A hilarious literal pun picture.

[http://hilarion.tumblr.com/post/467664255]

John Feinstein is a Blowhard: Fact

2010-03-30T10:39:00.069-05:00

Come read me burning a sportswriter. If there is one thing you can count on blowhards to do it is blow, hard. Sportswriters are often guilty of this, and John Feinstein is only the latest example of a sportswriter being caught in a bloviation. There is a bit of back story to get through before I can nail the gotcha bloggerism I have in store for Mr. Feinstein.
I enjoy sports talk radio. I used to even enjoy regular talk radio when I was a teenager. That was before I completely gave up on politics at 17. I am so jaded. As far as sports talk I have had passing phases between Colin Cowherd, Jim Rome, and more recently Dan Patrick. Patrick has a catch phrase, "passion bucket," that is a little cheesy and hokey, but also genuine and endearing. The phrase is used to mean how passionate someone is about life or a sporting event. It is a nice metaphor. Here it is used in a sentence: "Sean Payton's passion bucket was overflowing after the Saints' win in the Super Bowl because he knew how much the win meant to the city of New Orleans." Dan has been using this phrase for a while, I think even back to his old ESPN days, but now what he does with it is when he interviews a guest with which he has a good rapport he will goad them into using the phrase during an interview or on a broadcast. It's all in good fun.
Fast forward to Dan interviewing Cornell men's basketball coach, Steve Donahue, before their recent NCAA tournament game with Kentucky. Dan asked coach Donahue to work the phrase in which the coach delegated to one of his players, Ryan Wittman. When Wittman said "passion bucket" during a press conference he and his fellow teammates could barely contain their laughter because they were in on the joke, but serious sportswriter John Feinstein found nothing funny about their antics because he is a serious sportswriter who takes himself too seriously. Feinstein went on Tony Kornheiser's radio program and called the Cornell players racist for playing basketball or the NCAA racist for letting Cornell play in the tournament or you racist he knows how you lock your car doors when you see someone of a different ethnicity next to your car on a sidewalk. He was calling someone racist. That is all I know for sure. How he made that leap can not be fully explained, but one possible factor is Johnny had already made up his mind that Cornell is a school of racists and was looking for anything to back up his point. Passion bucket was just the sort of racial slur to set his sportswriter story sense tingling. Witness Feinstein's "column." What a tool. In Feinstein's interview on Kornheiser's show he bluntly called the Cornell player, Wittman, racist, but he veils that statement with his mind-numbingly boring column in the Washington Post. Here is Wimman's rebuttal/explanation of someone who has never met him calling him a racist from the Dan Patrick Show since Feinstein can not be bothered with doing research or follow-up since he is busying himself with writing for a dying medium and other up and coming bloviations of obliviousness he has burning on his mental hot plate.
/dismounts soap box
//wonders if anyone still uses the term soap box
///Feinstein, ya burnt, go write a column for some city's Times-Picayun or Press-Register
I did not use a picture of Feinstein because sportswriters' faces should really remain a mystery.

Dock Ellis Threw a No-Hitter on LSD

2010-03-29T15:18:00.005-05:00

Some people do not know that former major league pitcher, Dock Ellis, once pitched a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates while tripping on acid. I did. I knew that. The video below is Dock himself giving commentary accompanied with music and animation. It is art. Appreciate it.

What other positive things do you think people could accomplish on drugs?

Somebody Get This Man A Cheeseburger

2010-03-26T17:02:00.001-05:00

The latest Youtube sensation involves a drunk man longing for a cheeseburger and the tangled web he weaves as he tries to fight a guy at a Whataburger in Texas with special guest appearance by noted white rapper Paul Wall (don't care) and other people I think have something to do with music about which I do not care. Have you ever been drunk to the point where you could not fight? I don't think I have except maybe that one night where I drank loads of Soju and beer as I shouted "No tomorrow!" with a bunch of Korean guys. I threw up kim chi 4 times the next morning. It turns out there was a tomorrow.
You have a chance to get in on the ground floor here, folks. The video was posted 3/25/2010. There is brief, non-sexual nudity of the 2nd worst kind, a guy's butt. Enjoy and be the first to share it with your friends. Tell them where you heard it first. Y'all come back now, ya hear? Ok, I'm going to stop now and show the video.

My favorite parts of the video are the guy in the brown shirt repeatedly asking the drunk guy who attacked him, "are you done" after he had the guy in the worst submission hold ever *looks to MMA aficionados for confirmation* and the guys of unknown ethnicity at the 3:00 mark who say, "Only in America." Only in America, indeed, my culturally diverse brethren. And then at the end we see Paul Wall put Michael Strahan on blast for being slow. Not a smart move, Gap Tooth will be looking for you in the screets! You won't be able to lay low at the scrip club or Scranton, PA. Wait, that one works without changing the... oh, nevermind. I ASKED FOR A CHEESEBURGER! I'LL WHOOP ALL Y'ALL! I WILL BEAT YOU ALL OVER THOSE FRENCH FRIES!

People Drank Fat Mike's Pee at SXSW... and They Cheered for It

2010-03-26T11:55:00.059-05:00

Fat Mike as Cokie the Clown

Lost in the deluge of South by Southwest coverage was news of a performance by lead singer/ bass player/ co-founder of NOFX, Fat Mike, as an alter ego he created for their recent EP, Cokie the Clown. He dressed up in full clown costume, handed out a few shots of tequila to some fans up front, did a couple of shots himself, and did a few acoustic songs without the band present including The Decline (which I would have loved to hear.) One can not listen to much NOFX music and not wonder what sort of dark events shaped Fat Mike. Mike let some of those events find light during his performance at the Austin's SXSW festival including the story of him helping his mother die when she was terminally ill, stealing a record from his friend after he had committed suicide while the friend was still hanging there, and possibly the most disturbing story from this review from Pinpoint Music of the performance...

"The series of stories Cokie told started off with an account of how back in the mid -’80s Mike and Eric Melvin had witnessed a girl being forcefully carried down the stairs of a club on her way to being raped. As it goes, they both stood there watching slack jawed as she stared at them helplessly, then she grabbed onto both of them and yelled, “Help me!”. The men told Mike and Eric not to say a word. They did exactly that and went upstairs to watch the Vandals perform."

Wow. Wow. I could type wow about twenty more times. Not to mention at the end of his performance he let a video play that began just as he was offstage about to come on and perform which showed him peeing in the bottle of tequila from which he poured the shots he and the crowd drank at the beginning of his set. "That'll teach you posers to clamor to get up front", could be the message he was trying to send with that stunt. Some people have tried to post videos of the performance on Youtube, but they have all been taken down for copyright infringement claims by NOFX's label, Fat Wreck Chords, which is owned by Fat Mike. That is a rare move by Fat Wreck, but I can understand it considering the circumstances. I have been sitting on this story for three days trying to find a video, and then out of nowhere Fat Wreck's twitter feed posts a link to a story TMZ did on the event. TMZ even got a quote from Fat Mike. Say what you will about TMZ, but they get to the bottom of stories. They really give it their all. The quote from Mike was,

"I confirmed that urine was not classified as a biohazard waste and not subject to the risks of legal ramifications of blood, semen, or feces."

Here is the video from TMZ's website:

And now a favorite Youtube clip of NOFX---
Green Corn

The Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-03-25T16:54:00.001-05:00

The internet has been largely disappointing today. Nothing is really blowing by e-skirt up today. The trade rumors of Donovan McNabb to the Raiders or Rams? I am not buying that. People still whining about the change to the NFL playoff overtime rule? I am not really sweating that one either for two reasons. 1. I actually trust the owners to make a good decision this time and 2. We will cross the wired-with-explosives bridge of a playoff overtime quirk when we get there.
Here is some stuff I saw on the internet today:

An old picture of Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert. Whoa, hair. That must have been a hell of a rat's nest to deal with, Colbert. I actually watched The Colbert Report last night. It has been a while. Don't get me wrong, it's a funny show, but I just can't make it appointment television. You have to make cuts or you will spend your whole life in front of the TV. He is still doing awkward interviews at the end, and it was still funny. I was hoping to catch another piece in the "Better Know a District Series." Does he still do that? I was not surprised to find him making fun of Glenn Beck. Someone needs to run him into the ground. He is quite possibly the biggest tool walking planet earth. Rachel Maddow would be a close second. Smarmy much? Original picture at [YepYep]

This is funny. Allegedly before a group of NFL draft prospects was about to take the Wonderlic assessment, Tim Tebow asked that they all bow their heads and say a prayer. Someone allegedly said, "Shut the F$%* up." Classic. [The Gally Blog]

The Warming Glow was pulling its internet weight today with a strong post featuring an amazing animated gif of Allison Brie. Jeff and Abed's face say it all. It simply must be viewed. [Warming Glow]

Google and Youtube experienced a brief outage this morning. When reached for comment, Google was quick to say that the issue was technical in nature, not tampering or cracking. Anything but that. China? What reason would China have to crack our web servers? That's preposterous! The timing seems a little fishy. [CNN]

'Flu Shot Girl' Does the Dubstep

2010-03-25T10:47:00.002-05:00

We are living in the golden age of the internet, people, and I am about to prove it to you. Years down the road when our children have to use biometrics to be verified before they can post a comment on a website and videos can not be embedded without expressed written consent we will be able to say, "I remember the good ol' days, sonny." We will say a lot of things, though, and they won't make sense. So our kids will send us to nursing homes, but they will probably be better than nursing homes are now, I hope.
Many of you in internet land may remember the aspiring cheerleader whose life was tragically shattered by a simple flu vaccine. Many people called it a hoax. I have to admit I was skeptical. But she's getting better, so it is not too soon to do a hilarious remix with the original news report is it? Hell no, says Youtube user R0kkyu's video "WOBBLEGIRL - This is how you dance to dubstep." What is dubstep you may ask? I asked that as well. Urban Dictionary was surprisingly vague so I had to go to Wikipedia which defines dubstep as "a genre of electronic dance music that has its roots in London's early 2000s UK garage scene." Either way this girl is now an expert at it. My favorite parts of the video are at 0:25-0:33 and 1:02-1:18. Those breakdowns are nasty. You can not touch this girl on the dubstep. She is killing it. This is a classic lemons to lemonade situation. She is like the kid in Rookie of the Year when he breaks his arm, but that makes him able to throw a nasty fastball that no one can touch and he leads the Cubs to a pennant. Dream on, losers. I have watched this video roughly 15 times and I am still loving it. So wrong/so right.

Below I have the original news report and an update from the cheerleader herself, Desiree Jennings, in which she says she is getting better. So see, it all worked out in the end. Just like in Rookie of the Year.

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-03-24T17:39:00.019-05:00

The above picture is a logo alphabet. I knew eighteen out of twenty-five. It looks like they combined "W" and "V."

A newish meme, "Release the Kraken," is making the rounds on the 'tubes. To be honest, this one is underwhelming, probably because it is trying to follow Epic Beard Man. Release the kraken is still funny, though. [Urlesque]

Alternet has compiled a list of ten overreactions to the health care bill passing. A list of under reactions has yet to be compiled that I have found. It's funny how people are now all over Rush Limbaugh, ribbing him that he should be packing his bags for Costa Rica afer he said he would move there if the health care reform bill passed. It's just the latest case of 'gotcha internetism.' (like gotcha journalism) It's kind of silly to hold him to his rhetorical boasts. It's like when I was in high school, and we were playing this really crappy team of inbred rednecks in basketball. In the locker room before the game I said if we were lost to this team I would castrate myself. Well, you can see where this is going... We lost to the team of inbred rednecks in spectacular fashion and afterward everyone was trying to make a joke of me cutting my balls off, and the coach was even laughing about it. Hey guys, you missed the point. We just lost to a really bad team that we should have beaten. We were a very bad team- true story. [Alternet]

Remember that show The Unit? Yeh, me neither. I think it had the first president from 24 in it. Anyway, David Mamet created it and this memo to the writers of his creation is fairly awesome. In it he gives some valuable writing advice including, "DO *NOT* WRITE A CROCK OF SHIT. WRITE A RIPPING THREE, FOUR, SEVEN MINUTE SCENE WHICH MOVES THE STORY ALONG, AND YOU CAN, VERY SOON, BUY A HOUSE IN BEL AIR *AND* HIRE SOMEONE TO LIVE THERE FOR YOU."
Duly noted, Mamet. I first saw this here at The Cajun Boy blog who got it from a tumblr called "Diablo Cody is not even her real name." [Diablo Cody is not even her real name]

James Cameron calling Glenn Beck an asshole? That is like Ulysses S. Grant calling Bill Clinton corrupt. Let's just agree that they are both tools. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The Indian Military takes terrorism seriously. Have you ever had jalapeno juice on your fingers and wiped your eyes? It SUCKS. [Gamma Squad]

The Double McGangBang Is an Epic Win

2010-03-24T14:23:00.011-05:00

No, it's not a Ronald McDonald and Grimace sex tape link. It is an epic combination of items on McDonald's dollar menu that will take days, possibly weeks, off of your life. The Double McGangBang is a McDonald's McChicken Sandwich inside of a double cheeseburger. I was so fascinated when I first heard about it via this link from Gunaxin (although I think they got it from somewhere else but I'm not laboring through the internet link trail since I feel arteries hardening at this point) that I had to try it for myself. I, of course, have photo documentation.

Yes, I got a Sparks for lunch. Don't judge me! My initial thoughts are, "Whoa, this is huge. I'm going to have to squish it down to get it in my mouth (That's what she said.) Ah, damnit, there is mayonnaise on the chicken sandwich. I hate mayonnaise, or as I like to call it 'abortion juice,' so much that I forget some people actually like it and restaurants actually put it on sandwiches (not that McDonald's is a restaurant.) Anyway, the taste bouquet is masking the mayo taste well, but after the first two bites I am starting to feel full. I purposely have not eaten anything today and only had coffee and water to drink. This is not feeling good. On alternating bites I am liking the taste and then feeling disgusted with myself. Photo update:

At this point I am glad I did not get any fries, but I am definitely not going to eat the two apple pies I got just because they give you two for one dollar. I am done with the Sparks Red and I have a lump in my stomach. This must be the price all investigative journalists pay to get to the heart of the story. This story is going straight to my heart and hardening on the way. I feel gross. I regret NOTHING!

Hey, Want a Top Ten List That Will Make You Throw Up?

2010-03-24T10:50:00.001-05:00

Well, I have just the thing for you. It's the list of the ten songs most downloaded on ITunes (courtesy of the AOL Radio Blog.) Here is the list with my uninformed comments in italics.
10. Ke$ha- "Tik Tok" Who is this? She has a symbol in her name? Ooohhh, she's like a modern day e e cummings. Wait, this isn't good.
9. Leona Lewis- "Bleeding Love" Is this Lennox Lewis' daughter? When are we getting to The Beatles?
8. Taylor Swift- "Love Story" She's pretty. #8 all-time? Are teenage girls the only ones using ITunes?
7. Flo Rida- "Get Low" Sounds like a bangin' club hit. Wait, what does that mean?
6. Lady Gaga- "Just Dance" The lady that dresses weird. That's what you are. Nothing more. WHERE IS MY ZEPPELIN?
5. Coldplay- "Vida la Vida" I guess this is an ok song, but not worthy of top five all-time download.
4. Jason Mraz- "I'm Yours" Um, bro, could you be any more chill, bro?Go suck a FarmAid cock.
3. Black Eyed Peas- "Boom Boom Pow" I'm beginning to think I will not be finding any Steve Miller Band on this list.
2. Lady Gaga- "Poker Face" The song may be catchy, but I just don't look at her and say, "Her career has staying power." It's more like, "Future number on a crappy VH1 Saturday afternoon countdown something or other."
1. Black Eyed Peas- "I Gotta Feeling" I absolutely hate this song. I never thought I would say this, but hurry up and release some posthumous Michael Jackson songs so this crap sandwich can be unseated.

That was brutal. Hopefully with time this list will balance out to include some decent music. Or maybe this is decent music and I'm old. Nope, the first one.
*Spits tobacco juice and asks you to leave lawn*

Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day

2010-03-23T16:17:00.002-05:00

Tina Fey, why do you continue to confuse my boner?

Have you sadly come to the realization that you will never visit Paris? Let your self-pity marinate by viewing an interactive map of the sites around the town you will never visit. [Paris 26 Gigapixels]

A tumblr devoted to Mystery Science Theater 3000 haikus, that is at least a weekly click. [http://mst3khaiku.tumblr.com/]

A Steven Seagal emotion chart.

Couchsurfing! If I was still a college student or single I would be all over this. Now I will settle with being all over a porn based on this. [Couchsurfing]

An intrepid look at the Neon Deion Sanders in his post- playing days pursuit. I am glad for the update, but I am not sure what to make of him after reading this article. Make my mind up for me, sportswriter! [ESPN]

Shia "Rough" Lebeouf (I think I got that from FilmDrunk) gives a little bit more information about that wreck where he lost fingers that have been replaced by hip bone pieces. That's rough, Lebeouf. [Technorati]

More information on Conan's upcoming nationwide tour. [LA Times]

The government is watching you on the Facebook. O noes! They can't see me looking at only pictures of girls in bathing suits, can they? [Readwriteweb]

So, 24, you recycled the girl double agent storyline on the Dana Walsh character? I didn't like her character at all anyway and now you've made me hate her. Jerks.

Three Sheets to Air on the Travel Channel

2010-03-23T10:00:00.052-05:00

Zane Lamprey, likable professional drinker/ television host/ comedian/ person whose job I envy has a general buzz about him these days. The host of the television show Three Sheets announced via Youtube that Three Sheets will be airing on the Travel Channel April 14th at 11:00pm and 11:30pm EST for a period of one month. For those of you not familiar with the show you can check out full episodes on Hulu to get you warmed up for the premiere (my personal favorites are the the South Korea-Soju! and Kentucky episodes.) The show is currently airing on the Fine Living Network and although Zane does not say so explicitly, the one month airing on the Travel Channel seems to be a trial basis to see if ratings are good enough to justify a full-time move to the network. If that happens I will need to update my DVR accordingly. To get to know the host, Zane Lamprey, a little better check out this profile from Vanity Fair. He also has a comedy tour coming up soon. As if that wasn't news enough, Zane was out doing promo videos for the move to the Travel Channel over the weekend when he fell off of a bar and broke his collarbone. You may ask, is there video of this incident? Why yes, yes there is. To the Youtubes! (after the jump)

According to Zane's twitter account that was a real fall where he really had to go to the hospital contrary to what some commenters on the video would have you believe. It sucks he got hurt, but it was so money when he said he needed a shot of tequila. Feel better, Zane, there is drinking I need to watch you do as I follow along at home. Three Sheets will begin airing on the Travel Channel April 14th at 11:00pm and 11:30pm EST.

Health Care Reform Passed. Are We Over or Under Reacting?

2010-03-22T16:01:00.013-05:00

I've been trying not to take myself too seriously lately, at least with this blog. No one wants to read some self-important a-hole ranting about politics. That is not fun for anyone, really, and I realize that. The health care reform bill passing last night was an news item of note, however, and it needs commenting on. A few brief precursors:
I am neither a republican or democrat. I do not claim either crappy party. Politicians are all full of crap, and if you believe any elected official has altruistic intentions then you are living in a fools paradise (not to be confused with a gangster's paradise, Michelle Pfeiffer!)
I think everyone in this country recognizes that health care in this country is messed up. It is too expensive and not everyone has reasonable access to care. But ask yourself, honestly ask yourself, why is this bill or any bill so long? (over a 1,000 pages, but I could not find a hard number for the version that passed, some sources said over 2,000 pages) Why did the reform need to start off so big? Are there not any simple steps to take to get the ball rolling? Remember that whole thing about how some lawmakers did not get to read the bill? I wonder if they ever got around to it. Simplify stuff so I don't think you're trying to hide something deep in the pork fat folds. I wish I had the time and the drive to read the whole bill. Maybe I will one day.
I listened to CSPAN where people were calling in with opinions on the bill passing. A caller said, "Something is better than nothing." That is solid logic.The threat of this bill of unknown contents is better than leaving the current system intact? I can not be certain of that. And that is where I am at with the bill. We will not really know the long reaching effects of this reform since some of it will take until 2016 to be enacted.
Someone said something poignant on twitter last night that I thought was a great point. Tweeter @DukeBrady said "Repub's think #HCR costs too much. So does war but they never oppose that."
The bottom line is the positive and/or negative effects of this health care reform bill will take time to be seen. Politicians will be politicians and ignore it if it becomes a problem, but hey, maybe it will all work out.*crosses fingers*
This has been too serious to be internet cool so let me end with this. President Obama said last night everyone's voice has been heard. In all fairness, I do not think my voice has been heard.
"(To no one in particular) Show me your titties!" Now my voice has been heard.
For a real take on the possible long-term effects of the health care reform bill that just passed and where the Obama presidency will go from here read this article by Ben Domenech from New Ledger.

Bill Hicks Documentary Goodness

2010-03-22T10:52:00.003-05:00

One of the news items I gleaned from the never-ending glut of South by Southwest coverage is the Bill Hicks documentary is done and was screened at SXSW. The title is American: The Bill Hicks Story, and it about another comedic mind that was lost too soon. The only release date on IMDB is a UK release for September 1st, 2010, but in this trailer the release date is Summer 2010. Giving yourself a wide berth, are you? Here is the trailer:

It looks like a must-see. Hicks died before I came of age to really understand and appreciate his genius, but thanks to Youtube I have caught up. Be careful before clicking that Youtube link. A day could be consumed on there.

You Stay Contradictory, China

2010-03-19T14:37:00.015-05:00

China, where you can not speak out against the government, but you can pollute to holy hell and make bear cubs fight on television. I am not completely sure these videos are real because the bears look a lot like ant eaters and the Chinese are notorious for their camera tricks (remember the Olympics?) Also, the bear cubs seem to respect the referee a little too much. Why are there not any videos of the bears turning on the referee or the N.W.O bears running out from the back with folding chairs? The world may never know.

No One Covers Sexting Like Deadspin

2010-03-19T11:55:00.010-05:00

One of the porn stars, Joslyn James, with which Tiger Woods was having carnal relations has released a series of text messages she allegedly received from Tiger during their sordid love affair. Was there more than one porn star he was banging? It is hard to keep up. The full release is here courtesy of Deadspin. Tiger does not disappoint as far as the dirty talk. The problem is she only released his side of the text conversation, we do not know what she sexily texted back to Tiger. Does she think the mystery of not knowing is sexy? She can not be that diluted. She is a porn star for crying out loud.
Then Deadspin took it to the next level and put together a timeline of the sexts tiger sent his mistress inlaid with his performances in the golf tournaments in which he was playing. Big ups to Deadspin for that. It is what we were all wondering about, right?
Then, just when I think this round of Tiger Woods coverage is over, here comes WithLeather with a strong showing of pictures of kittens with some of Tiger's text messages written in pink on top of them.
All around good showing- beers for everyone involved. Carry on, internet.

O Florida, Never Change

2010-03-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

The south always seems to find a way to not only live up to the heritage it has built for itself but create an ever-growing legend of dumb behavior. I say this as someone who has lived in the south my entire life. Many argue with me and say that Florida is not really the south. To them I say click on this link to a story about a 14-year-old in Florida who was so unsatisfied that his grandfather could not make his four-wheeler (ATV) work that he felt his only recourse was to attack his grandfather with an axe. Also, Florida fought with the Confederacy in the Civil War. That is the major criteria for being considered "southern." Never mind the grandfather had purchased the four-wheeler for his grandson. The result of the young man's failure at life is...

"Cody was placed under arrest and charged with two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill, a third degree felony."

Bravo south, you have done it again. The picture above I borrowed from WarmingGlow.

Alzheimer's Will Ravage This Generation

2010-03-18T13:53:00.011-05:00

There is good news and bad news. Which do you want first? Good news: According to this ABC News report by Kristina Fiore having a purpose or goals in life has been shown in studies to "stave off" Alzheimer's. Bad news: Nobody has any purpose in life. We mostly sit around on the internet or our smart phones and get dumb waiting for someone to entertain us. Hell, according to this post at the website insidefacebook.com, Mafia Wars has 6.5 million daily active users. Farmville has over 30 million daily active users. 30 million! Sounds like a bunch of self-motivated, goal-oriented people to me. What I am trying to say is there needs to be more Alzheimer's research because we are all going to have it by the time we turn sixty-five.
Am I the only one that thought people were saying old timer's when I was young? It does affect old people so you can see how I could make that mistake. Do some crossword puzzles like my grandmother does, people. And smoke, she smokes too. And eat oranges and Raisin Bran. Hey, you are the one who said you wanted to emulate my grandmother. O, you said impregnate? I think she is all dried up down there, and you are nasty, dude. Seriously nasty.

Justified Is Officially Badass

2010-03-17T10:01:00.057-05:00

The new FX series, Justified, premiered last night, and the verdict is... yes, it is as badass as I had hoped it would be. The first scene was used to establish the badassery of Marshall Raylen Givens, played by Timothy Olyphant. He played the character tough but fair with a sense of following his own principles and morals in the vein of Buford Pusser with some sort of John Wayne thrown in there. After the action of the scene went down and Marshall Givens shot the guy he was giving a chance to leave town all I could think and say all giddy to my wife was, "He was JUSTIFIED!"

After getting in trouble for implementing an old-school brand of justice in a world that has passed him by, Raylen gets transferred back to his ol' Kentucky podunk home and the show moves to set up Boyd Crowder (played by Walton Goggins of The Shield fame) and his band of dim-witted neo-Nazi thugs as an obvious foil for Marshall Raylen because what else is there in Kentucky but neo-Nazi inbred idiots, right? The Marshall and Boyd have a past working in the coal mine but since Boyd is on the wrong side of the law, Givens politely informs him, "(If) You make me pull, I'll put you down." And yes, Walton Goggins did throw in a "git-r-done." and a "Got-damn, woman, you only shoot people when they're eatin' dinner?" I really miss his character from The Shield. I hope they keep him around on this show a while, but it is not looking too good with him getting shot in the first episode. All in all, I give the show a solid "A" with "A+" upside potential. Here is good interview with the star of Justified, Timothy Olyphant. O wait, *spoiler alert* - was that supposed to go up top?
And another note, when I was looking up pictures for Justified this was what came up first.

How can I get the homo-eroticism off of my pc? Get it off, get it off! Wait, he has a clone of himself stand next to him and try to tease up a bulge in his pants with which to touch him? Why??? Why???!?!?!?!?!!