On the Road Movie: A Real Mouthfarter

People have been asking my opinion of the On the Road movie based on the classic Jack Kerouac book currently in the works. My initial reaction is simply typing "/mouthfart" is not sufficient enough to encompass how much I dread this movie. We need to build a bigger mouth in order to more efficiently hold all of the mouthfart production needed to describe how I feel about this movie. The good people over at Beatdom (check them out) cover the On the Road developments as well as gives updates about the Charles Bukowski and William S Burroughs movies. They take a more positive stance than me on the prospects for the movie. I can't blame them. I'm a cynical a$$bag. Just think, there are going to be hipsters trying to act like they have been down with the Beat program all-along and people pretending they have read the book when I know damn well they didn't read it or read it and didn't get it.
I have been reluctant to think about the possible outcomes, much less do a post about it. Let me shock you by saying I am not at all looking forward to the movie. Yes, I use a picture of Jack Kerouac as my avatar for twitter and other places. Yes, I have read the seminal work by Kerouac two times and listened to the audio book version as read by Matt Dillon as well as the small selection that exists of Kerouac reading a portion of the book. Actually, Matt Dillon's audio book recording is a good example of why I cringe at the idea of an On the Road movie. I chose Dillon's reading of the book over the other option I saw available, David Carradine, and Dillon did give the reading a good try. His oral interpretation simply did not do the text justice compared with the audio examples available read by Kerouac himself. I'm not trying to say he should have mimicked the speech patterns exactly, just that he could have been closer. But I will admit I am hard to please in this area. It's like when all of the buzz started about Walk the Line with Joaquiuijn Phuaeoinix playing another one of the persons I admire greatly, Johnny Cash. People expected me to be at the movie theater the first day and gobble up every second. Wrong, I foresaw disappointment, and I was validated. My hope is that no one has to see their heroes immortalized in a crappy movie like mine have been. I watched Walk the Line at home, and I will probably do the same with On the Road lest I go to the theater and am forced to ruin the experience for everyone. The On the Road movie seems inevitable with four people now signed onto the cast.  Kerouac will once again flicker into the pop culture consciousness for a moment. I don't buy that anyone, especially the actors, appreciate my man Jack on any level except the paycheck they will get.

Kristen Stewart- she will be in the On the Road movie.
Bella, we'll have to go on the road to make our love work.

Technical support update: I typed in "Kirsten Dunst hot" in Google image search and my computer blew a gasket. I didn't even know these things had gaskets!
Forgot to mention because I was drunk and literally falling asleep when I wrote this post (doesn't it show in the writing?): The director of this project, Walter Salles, has shot a documentary on his five year struggle to get this movie made. At least I'm excited about the documentary.