THIS SITE HAS MOVED!!!

The Nonpopulist has moved to http://www.nonpopulist.com. Classy, huh? Update your bookmarks. Tell your friends and enemies. I will try to get a redirect on this page soon.

HUGE Site News: 2 Legit 2 Quit (Hey, Hey)

 Elisabeth Shue always serves up the sexy just like me.

This week, lady and gentlemen, I am going legit. I have purchased the domain http://www.nonpopulist.com and am working on building the site. I am also switching blogging platforms to what I have learned is the Cadillac of blogging platforms, Wordpress. Sorry blogspot bros, but it's time to make the switch. Let's always remember the good times.
I need to kick this thing to the next level of jerkitutde, though. Come with me to my new home of a$sholery, www.nonpopulist.com. I'm hoping to have the new site ready to launch this week, and I will probably not update this website ever again. EVER! Blogspot is dead to me. I'm already working on a tear-jerking montage celebrating our good times together. It'll be fapable.

New Season of Community + Cool Remix Promo + Hot Alison Brie Pictures

 Wow, Alison Brie is really sexying up that dilapidated loft apartment. I

have a weakness for boy shorts like those.

Community is not only one of the best comedies on television it is one of the best television shows on the boob tube today, period. I will verbally spar with you if you feel otherwise. The first episode of the new season (season 2) airs tonight on NBC. You may have even already seen the new episode by the time you read this so I have something of note to offer for those winding up at this weblog post, hot pictures of Alison Brie and a remix done by DJ Steve Porter. Porter has made a name for himself making all sorts of internet promotional videos that include music, mashups, and auto-tune pieces with a viral feel. They are good at what they do over there and have an impressive client list. I am not on board with the auto-tune video they did for ESPN that aired on Sunday NFL Countdown last week because it was had both auto-tune and the video featured the Manning brothers (Peyton and Eli.)
Here is a video remix DJ Steve Porter did of Community season 1 that is quite strong.



Nicely done, Porter. That video succeeded in getting me more wet for the Community premiere tonight. Speaking of wet.

Here are a few more photos courtesy of Warming Glow.

---

A huge classy hat tip to Ufford who runs shit over at Warming Glow. He is the class of television bloggers. He makes this site look like mentally handicapped people drawing crayon pictures on a toilet. Ooohh, I just got an idea for a post, people. I'll let you know how it goes (poorly.)

American Idol Announces New Judges, People with Brains Collectively Sound a High-Pitched Mouth Fart

The people who are into this show have always sort of annoyed me, but all of the buzz as to who the next warm bodies to sit in the judge's chair would be annoyed me enough that something needed to be written. Entertainment blogs and websites have been abuzz with opinions and rumors on who will be the new American Idol judges for a while now. I'd rather be updated with stories about the amount of herpes the cast of The Jersey Shore have. O wait, we have that too. Valtrex passed around like candies, you say? Lovely. Pop culture is full of whores. There are money whores, actual whores, fame whores. I'd say there is a mix of these various kinds of whores in the selection of judges for this season's American Idol. (ed note: Should shows like this really be typed in italics? No.)

The first judge is Randy Jackson. He is the only carryover judge. I saw today in a story about American Idol that Randy Jackson's twitter is handle @yo_randyjackson. Really? I get it because in every thing I ever see making fun of him he always says, "Yo" and "Dog." It makes sense. He could have almost even gone with @yodawgJackson or @yodawgyoumydawgyo. And no I am not linking to that crap on my blog.

The second judge will be Jennifer Lopez. I remember a time when I thought she was hot (I mean pretty, not trendy), but the stories about what an insufferable person she is to work with have really influenced my thinking. I just assume she is a bitch. And she did Gigli and whatever else she's done that does not matter at all to me. She is reportedly getting $12 million for her "work" on American Idol this year. Meanwhile some homeless guy got mad when I told him no when he asked for change the other week. I asked him for change, and he called me crazy which I thought was thoroughly racist. What? Do you think every white guy is the Brad Wesley character from Roadhouse? I work for a living too, asshole, and hard. I don't have a lot of extra money laying around to give to somebody who has given up on life. I'm actually trying over here.

The third judge will be Steven Tyler. I'm not for certain why I have such a personal bias against Steven Tyler, but I think part of it is this girl I was into met him on vacation one time and got a picture with him. Nothing happened (she was with her parents and still a minor at the time) between them, but I saw the picture when she got back and said something to the effect of, "O, that's cool that you don't discriminate and are willing to take pictures with alien-looking lesbians. She did not enjoy my humor at this moment, and she discovered how stubborn I was when I would not quit making fun of how he looked despite her multiple protests. She did not get the joke at first and informed me he was the guy from Aerosmith. I really do not understand why such a large percentage of women find Steven Tyler attractive, but they do. He doesn't even look human, and it's not close. It perturbs me in the old noggin. And Aerosmith as a band? Meh. To wrap up that story about the girl that met Steven Tyler I only let her touch my penis one time. To sum up my feelings on anything American Idol-related- *high-pitched mouth fart*.

That was a good, hate-filled warm up. I plan on submitting to the torture that the new NBC show crap sandwich Outsourced most definitely will be in order that I may write about how it will likely be a method of abortion on par with the "wire coat hanger method." My goal, my mission in life is to cause this show to get canceled. I want to verbally eviscerate all who are responsible for this show. This is the battle I have chosen, people. I am so tired of crappy television and this will be my Hamburger Hill. WHO'S WITH ME? /crickets

A Dad Outshines His Daughters in Youtube Bieber Dance Party

In honor of my twitter avatar for the past week (Justin Bieber) I thought this post would be a good send off. I will change it tomorrow afternoon. To what I will change I am not sure yet, but I'd rather have the default twitter bird than roll with the Biebs any longer. For those of you who do not follow me on twitter, this has been my avatar for the past week.

The reason that has been my avatar for an awesome week is because I lost a fantasy football bet. The winner got to choose the loser's twitter avatar for a week. When you consider what my choice for him her would have been I'm sure you'll agree it was a dick move on his her part. She's a Minnesota Vikings fan so I was going to choose an Aaron Rodgers picture for him her. But enough of my bitchy whining. I've taken my medicine. I am not going to give the winner of the bet the pleasure of publicity, though. This video helps a little.

Wow, that is uncomfortable to watch, but not for the reason you might think. The girls are lifeless. How can they ever hope to make it out of the Lithuania (according to the Youtube information) based on their singing and performing talents? The dad, on the other hand, has got the goods. He seems a little like he may be a cog in the wheel of some eastern bloc crime syndicate but has managed to get a lot of practice dancing at the local discotheque their crime family owns. Good for him. I still feel bad for him as a parent, though. His daughters aren't living up to the family talent level. I hope these girls learn from their father and bring some charisma next time.

The Nonpopulist Interviews Super Bowl-Winning Coach Jimmy Johnson (Part 2)

A nice shot of Coach Johnson with the military personnel in attendance

The second part of my interview with Coach Johnson is below. As promised there are more hard-hitting football questions as well as the Survivor questions that were asked by myself and a few of the other reporters.

At a Crown Royal event for their new initiative, Operation CAMO Care Package, I had the opportunity to interview two-time Super Bowl Winning coach Jimmy Johnson along with three other blogger-types. Operation CAMO Car Package is a project Crown Royal in conjunction with Operation Troop Aid. I recommend you check out what they are doing and support the cause. The easiest way you can give your support is by going to your local adult beverage retailer and purchasing a bottle of Crown Royal in a purple camouflage bag. For every camo-bagged Crown Royal purchased they will fill another camo bag with essential items such as toiletries, sunscreen, snacks, and in some cases 120-minute prepaid phone cards and send it to troops serving overseas. That seems like a win-win to me. You win because you get to enjoy


I would like to let my readers in on a little bit of my experience at the event. I was one of the most under-dressed people at the event. Almost everyone guy had a suit on except, you guessed it, the bloggers. The two other male bloggers had on shorts and polo shirts. I had on slacks and a long-sleeve button-down shirt (classy and sexy, right ladies?) The female blogger was dressed very appropriately as well, probably classier than me. Also, there was a free lunch and free booze. Crown Royal was featured, and this reporter can confirm that is so, so smooth.

As with the last post the following interview portion has been edited for length and to not reveal how long and bumbling my questions were.

Nonpopulist: (On Survivor), Was it easy to turn into Coach Johnson, did you use that to your advantage?

Coach Johnson: Well, I really didn’t want to be the leader. I didn’t want to be the boss, and they just kept saying, listen, we’ve got decisions to make and somebody, not saying you’re going to make the decision, but you help us make the decision. So, I said at least I’ll do that.

Nonpopulist: How quickly did hygiene go out the window? How long did you keep up appearances?

Coach Johnson: About 30 minutes (laughing)

Nonpopulist: 30 minutes, and you spent a whole month there? (more laughing) [ed. Note: damn, I’m funny]

John (It’s Never Sunny in Cincinnati): If Jerry Jones was on Survivor, how long would he last?

Coach Johnson: Well, Jerry’s had the good life for a long, long time, and what I’ve found out because I’ve had the good life for awhile myself, being on the couch in the air condition, sleeping in a bed, having lots of food and water makes you want to come back and get those things again. So I don’t know if Jerry would last real long on Survivor.

John (INSIC): When the Survivor taping ended, what was your first meal when you got back home?

Coach Johnson: I had four cold beers. (laughter of knowing-drunks)

Nonpopulist: Nice, that’s a good choice.

 Coach packing the ceremonial Crown CAMO bag

Nonpopulist: You followed coaching legends three times in your career. Two out of three went well for you. Having the benefit of years to look back and reflect, what would you say the difference is between the two successful ones and the one that didn’t go as well?

Coach Johnson: Following Schnellenberger we ended up winning a championship. In four years, we only lost two regular season games, so that went well. Then following Landry, back to back Super Bowls, so that went well and we put together a team that won another one. And then, following Shula, we were in the playoffs three straight years and we were in the second round of playoffs two straight years. Now, for most teams in the NFL, going to the second round of playoffs is usually pretty good, but when you’ve got a couple Super Bowl rings, people have expectations to win a Super Bowl, so if you don’t win a Super Bowl it’s a disappointment. But people look at the Dolphin thing and say, well, was that a disappointment—I thought we played about as well as our talent allowed us to play. Like I said, going to the playoffs three straight years, but we didn’t win a super bowl, so that was a disappointment.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, that was my follow up. Were you the victim of high expectations?

Coach Johnson: Yeah, again, most teams in the league would love to be in the playoffs three straight years.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, when was the last time you got a coaching inquiry about a coaching position?

Coach Johnson: I’ve had inquiries about, not coaching in the last 5 or 6 years, but being a general manager or being a consultant. Of course, in the early years they always wanted me to coach, but I’ve pretty well made it clear to everybody I love doing Fox NFL Sunday. That satisfies my itch for football, and being out there with Bradshaw and Howie Long and Strahan and Menefee.

Nonpopulist: Yeah, we can tell you guys have a good time.

Coach Johnson: We have a ball.

Nonpopulist: I saw where last Sunday on the Fox NFL Morning Show, you guys were giving your Super Bowl picks and you chose the Colts and the Cowboys.

Coach Johnson: Yeah and both of them lost. I’ve said before I’m terrible at picking games, but I still like both teams.

Nonpopulist: What do you think of former players and coaches who are now commentators stumping for their former teams?

Coach Johnson: I don’t necessarily stump for a team. I mean if you look at the picks I made, the Cowboys and the Colts, that pretty well might be the consensus around the league. The only one that might be thrown in there with them would be the Packers, maybe. A lot of people are picking Green Bay. That’s probably the consensus pick. Again, I don’t have any allegiance to any team as far as the way I am on Fox NFL Sunday.

Nonpopulist: So, you’re not afraid of getting the cold shoulder or anything like that?

Coach Johnson: I think players more so than former coaches. The only coaches that might be concerned about that are ones that are going to go back and coach again which I’m not.

One of Coach Johnson's Super Bowl rings. Shiny.

Again, I would like to say thank you to HuggingHaroldReynolds and the folks at Taylor PR for the opportunity.

The Nonpopulist Interviews Super Bowl-Winning Coach Jimmy Johnson (Part 1)

At a Crown Royal event for their new initiative, Operation CAMO Care Package, I had the opportunity to interview two-time Super Bowl Winning coach Jimmy Johnson along with three other blogger-types. Operation CAMO Car Package is a project Crown Royal in conjunction with Operation Troop Aid. I recommend you check out what they are doing and support the cause. The easiest way you can give your support is by going to your local adult beverage retailer and purchasing a bottle of Crown Royal in a purple camouflage bag. For every camo-bagged Crown Royal purchased they will fill another camo bag with essential items such as toiletries, sunscreen, snacks, and in some cases 120-minute prepaid phone cards and send it to troops serving overseas. That seems like a win-win to me.

The following interview portion has been edited for length and to not reveal how long and bumbling my questions were.

Nonpopulist: First, I want to say thank you for what you’re doing for the troops with Crown Royal and these care packages. It’s always good to see that, regardless of politics, we’re still supporting the troops. You mentioned spending time in Afghanistan, what do you have as a message to civilians after spending time there?

Coach Johnson: The biggest thing is don’t forget. I mean, don’t forget that we’ve got service men and women over fighting a war. And, don’t just take them for granted, because they’re doing a service and they’re sacrificing for our freedom and I think sometimes, back here in the States, they get all excited at one time, and as time goes on they just go on about their lives and they forget that we’ve got service men and women over there serving our country. So, don’t forget.

Dave (Blogging the Boys): You saw the Cowboys/Redskins game last week, so what’s your evaluation of the Cowboys so far?

Coach Johnson: Obviously it was really disappointing for any Cowboy fan to see some of the decisions made, not taking a knee right before the half was just a horrible decision. And I think they’re going to still be a good football team. I think the biggest thing is they get the offensive line back healthy then they’ll be at full strength. Defensively, I think they’ll be one of the top defenses in the league. And offensively they’ve got the skill people, but they’ve got to get those linemen back healthy.

Dave: You mentioned about the kneel down before the half and there’s a little back and forth about did Wade Phillips call it, did Jason Garrett call it, what do you think about that? The dynamic between the two.

Coach Johnson: We’re doing a piece on Fox NFL Sunday this weekend. I’m doing a piece on clock management and game management. An offensive coordinator’s responsibility is to score, but the head coach does the game management. The end result is the head coach has got to make the decision.

Dave: The Cowboys take on the Bears this weekend, so I wanted to ask you about containing Mike Martz’ offense? What’s the best way to attack that kind of offense?

Coach Johnson: Well, usually with Martz’s offense, he pretty well plays into your hands because as good as that defense is for the Cowboys, they’ll be able to get some sacks and interceptions. Martz is going to put up some numbers, as far as Cutler throwing the ball, so they’ll put up some numbers, and they’ll probably score some points, but I think the defense will end up getting some scores themselves, at least kicking field goals. You’ve got to force Culter into mistakes.

Nonpopulist: What young or up and coming coach are you looking at to make an impact in the league in the next few years?

Coach Johnson: Well, it’s hard for me to put one out there for the simple reason unless I’ve actually coached with them or I know them personally, I don’t want to go out and endorse somebody. I do know Sean Payton well, and he’s young, but he’s won the Super Bowl. In fact, one of the pieces I’m doing this week I give credit to Sean, some of his game management skills

Nonpopulist: What about rookies? In particular, Dez Bryant?

Coach Johnson: yeah, well I followed Dez Bryant because he played for Oklahoma State and that’s where I coached for 5 years, and I think he is going to be a tremendous talent. He’s really going to help the Cowboys if he can stay healthy.

Nonpopulist: I mean I guess they gave him 88 for a reason, right?

Coach Johnson: He’s a very talented individual.

Nonpopulist: A lot of jokes have been made about you doing the ads and sponsorship for Extenze, you know?

Coach Johnson: Right

Nonpopulist: There are easy pickings there comedically. How much did you get initially from the guys on Fox NFL Sunday and your other friends? [ed. note Wussed out, should have been edgier]

Coach Johnson: Well, Bradshaw in particular, but like I told him, I said, for that particular product, at my age I need all the help I can get (awkward laughter)

More hard-hitting football questions, and I'll get to a few Survivor questions in the next portion of the interview I post. You do not want to miss it.

Also, I would like to say thank you to HuggingHaroldReynolds and the folks at Taylor PR for the opportunity. It was a class event.

Author of The Anarchist Cookbook Sells Out, Denounces Book

The author of The Anarchist Cookbook, one of the classic "banned books," has denounced his masterwork. Read author William Powell's statement here at Anarchistnews.org. Why do I care? Why am I posting about The Anarchist Cookbook? Why are you not posting about it? It's a classic book and a hot-button issue after all these years. Powell wrote the book in 1968-1969 and people who know what it is still whisper when they talk about it. I love discussing things that are taboo. I'll let you in on a little secret. I have seen and read parts of the book. It's outdated at this point, but from what I understand people have made updated copies and put them online. People tell me current ones are far worse than what Powell had originally written. Even the revelation that Powell denounced the text appears to be old according to the comments at the above story link.
Hat tip to the twitter feed of Anarchist News where I first saw the story.

Site News: I Scored a Major Interview with a Super Bowl-Winning Coach

Tomorrow on The Nonpopulist I will pretend for a day this is a classy establishment in front of other people. I will hoodwink people in a professional PR setting into thinking I know the something about interviewing anyone as I do so for the first time with two-time Super Bowl-Winning coach Jimmy Johnson. Not bad for a first interview, huh? Well, we will see how it goes. I may make a complete a$$ of myself (likely.) Hopefully the fact that I have yet to shell out to pay for my own domain name will not make everyone throw spitballs at me. Many thanks to HuggingHaroldReynolds for the opportunity. I will try not to let you down. I will try my best to get something up from the interview tomorrow afternoon. I am shooting for a full transcript. Please feel free to comment if you have any good questions you would like me to ask.

The Latest Mentally Unstable Person Running for Public Office Is the Most Polished Yet

The startling awesome trend of people who should either be under full-time psychiatric care or at least taking medication for mental illness running for public office continues with Phil Davison. Guys like Davison, Chris Young, and BasilMarceaux.com make me ponder if it is worse to have crazy people or deceitful manipulators who are money and power grubbing whores in our political offices. The answer: more anarchy. Davison wants to be the GOP candidate for Stark County Treasurer which is in Ohio. As you will see he is passionate about wanting to be treasurer for this county in Ohio. Wait, Ohio? O, he's probably in the 90th percentile of intelligence in Ohio. Compared to the rest of the country, though, this guy is a nut job. See for yourself.



By far the best part of this video is how Phil Davison curtails the crazy at various points and remembers what would appear to be speech class etiquette. Wait, he has a Master's degree in Communication? Did I really hear him say that? I'm glad I have a college degree because obviously that still means something in today's world. O wait, I do contract IT work with no guarantee of a steady paycheck and am a wannabe blogger with a $hitty readership who never comments and who gets most of my page views from Google image searches. Sad but true. Why am I crapping on myself? This guy is the one who needs professional help. No one should be that happy or proud of their political affiliation.
Someone at around the 2:45 mark responds to a rhetorical question Davison poses. I learned a long time ago to try to avoid interactions with crazy people when they are agitated. Luckily it did not backfire on whoever that misguided was. It was fortunate for them they responded with something the candidate wanted to hear. Ha, he dropped a "knowledge is power" at the 4:28 mark. I'm glad to know someone else was a Schoolhouse Rock fan. Best of luck to Davison in the race.
Credit goes to Huffington Post as it was their story originally and the video was shot by one of their citizen journalists.

NFL Cheerleader Eaten By Mascot: Video

 Sexy NFL cheerleader shot is obligatory

This weekend's NFL action was nothing short of spectacular. I was entertained for about 9 and a half straight hours yesterday. There were controversial plays, epic fails, and this... a Tennessee Titans cheerleader being eaten by a mascot. I did not type eaten out, you pervert. This isn't a porn site. I saw this live since the Titans are my favorite team. Most of the time when my wife is watching a game with me I have to pretend I'm not paying attention to what the cheerleaders are doing with a casual look away here and there, but I hit rewind on the DVR a few times for this. As I perused Youtube for this clip I see it has been done already several times, but it's new to me. A version of the Titans' mascot(regular one is a furry costume), a racoon named T-Rac, swallows a cheerleader whole. Watch the video:



If the Youtube video gets taken down, go here.

Death Metal Penguin OOH WAH AH AH AH!

This penguin is so hardcore.

I would not want to get in a pit with this penguin. I never liked the whole "mosh pit" aspect of going to shows. I've been a crotchety old man since I was 16, though. I enjoy seeing bands I like live but dealing with a bunch of idiots who want to run into me and elbow me did not enhance the experience for me. When I saw NOFX live I found a corner with a view and just hid. People actually got hurt at that show. I want to see a band play, not have to worry about my safety and the safety of people there with me. Like I said, a crotchety old man. I was at a Grand Buffet show one time and some guy was trying to slam dance and knock against everyone in the show. This guy was really going up to every person at the show and just pushing them and then moving on to the next person. The second time he came up to me I put my elbow in his chest. The third time we took him outside. This was at an indie hip hop show so we just couldn't let that fly.
Here is the death metal penguin OOH WAH AH AH AH!

Public Enemy: Say It Like It Really Is: New Video

Public Enemy has a new song and video called Say It Like It Really Is. The song will be featured on the upcoming box set called "BRING THE NOISE: The Hits, Vids, and Doc Box." The song has a nice classic feel to it and features clips of notable people who Chuck D, Flavor Flav, and the guys feel say it like it really is. I was pleasantly shocked to see a clip of one of my favorite artists, Sage Francis, at around the 3:47 mark of the video. It's nice to see Sage get some respect from legends such as Public Enemy. I bet Sage has been twirling around his bedroom in spasmodic glee since he found out. Good for him. A clip of Rage Against the Machine was in the video too. There are a lot of cool people. Someone should make a list of all the people in this video. And say what you want about Flavor Flav being a pop culture joke nowadays, but he still is and always will be the best hype man in the business.

White Girls Doing a Glee Club Version of "Bitch3s Ain't Sh1t" by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

This is the affect Glee is having on our society. It is easy to think Glee is merely an innocent show about following your dreams and high school dramaaa, but if the show leaves videos like this in its wake then it is much more sinister than even I imagined. I caught my wife watching the show one time. ONE TIME. I had to employ psychological warfare on her in the form of repeating the word "drama" in an effeminate tone until she finally changed the channel. We have an awesome marriage.
The song "Bithc3s Ain't Sh1t" is on The Chronic, Dr. Dre's first album, which was one of my favorites growing up. I think Dr. Dre would find this video to be funny. I think it's kind of hot. White girls in skirts, dresses, and knee-high socks singing hardcore rap is at the very least intriguing to my boner. Upon researching this video I learned Ben Folds also does a cover of this song. How stupid is that? I also learned this video is more than a year old and performed by students of Columbia University in a group they call Bacchantae. Their website appears to have not been updated in a while but is still interesting.
Here's the original version of the song for comparison:



Hat tip to the man, Robert Littal, at myspacemodelsonline.com

They Say It's Google's Birthday, It's My Birthday Too, Yeh!

Evan Rachel Wood looking sexy.

Today is my birthday. It has been uneventful. I celebrated this weekend so don't feel bad for me. I don't know about most people, but for me birthdays are about having a little fun, seeing what celebrities you share a birthday with, and contemplating suicide as the rotting carcass that encompasses my mind and soul deteriorates at an increasingly rapid pace. I look each year anew with anticipation that some famous person that I actually give a crap about shares a birthday with me. Maybe someone who just got famous happens to have a birthday that coincides with mine. I realize this is pure vanity, but it keeps me distracted from my own mortality. I've been seeing Corbin Bernson's sorry a$$ on this list for years *dismissive wank motion*, but today I decided to head over to the Wikipedia and just look up the date of my birthday. I was entertained.
Here are a few highlights:
1533- Queen Elizabeth I of England
1936- Buddy Holly
1950- Julie Kavner (voice on The Simpsons)
1963- Brent Liles (bassist for Social Distortion)
1963- Eazy-E
1987- Evan Rachel Wood, she's pretty (see: above)
Those are the birthdays. There are also a few events of note that took place on September 7th.
1822- Brazil declared independence from Portugal
1963- The Pro Football Hall of Fame opens with 17 charter members
1979- ESPN makes its debut
2008- The U.S. government seizes control of mortgage financiers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
1998- Google
1996- Tupac Shakur was fatally shot four times in Las Vegas. He died a few days later.
Tupac was one of the greatest. I have gained a renewed appreciation for him recently. I have been listening to "So Many Tears" several times a day for the past week or so. Here's a video of him performing that song live along with "All About You" at Club 662. That is the same club Tupac and Suge Knight were on the way to the night he and Knight were shot.

I Was Just Thinking Car Commercials Could Use More Speed Metal

Every once in a while an internet video comes along that makes me smile in a special way. This video series is called Cars. It reminds me of a Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! on steroids, crack, and Sparks malted beverage. It's not about cars so much as it is a crazy car commercial in the first video and insane random awesomeness in the second video. These videos got enough notoriety that comedy powerhouse Patton Oswalt took notice, called one of the main guys behind the video, and asked him when Cars 3 was going to be made because he wanted to feature it at a film festival. How do I know all of that? I heard it on the Filmdrunk Frotcast, specifically episode # 5. Filmdrunk's podcast, if I may plug something for a minute, is the best podcast I have ever heard. I got on the podcast bandwagon when it first got hot a few years ago, but most of them sucked a$$, so I gave up. So for all I know, there are more good ones now. I really don't see any of them being as good as Filmdrunk's podcast though. And really, who has the time. The Frotcast is something I will make time for, damnit. By the way, look up the term frot. Many of you are aware I am a fan of ultra-offensive humor, the more offensive the better.The Frotcast satisfies that need. But back to the Cars videos, watch these sh1ts!

Check out Car 1:

Cars - watch more funny videos

And Cars 2:

Cars 2: "All Out Cars" - watch more funny videos

Now GET OUT YOUR F*CK#ING CHECKBOOK!

Who Knew A Political Interview on a Morning Talk Show Could Produce So Much Sexual Tension?

The following video is from the Fox morning show in Providence, RI.
Here is the description from the Youtube video:

"The Rhode Show begins its new series, "Coffee with the Candidates," to help you get to know the candidates running for elections and on a personal level. Today we begin with the Providence mayoral race and Democratic candidate Chris Young."

Is it just me or does that guy look like Chris Farley from when he did the motivational speaker sketches and act like Chris Farley when he did the sketch where he was a nervous interviewer? The Farley factor is off the chart. Did this guy, Chris Young, idolize Chris Farley growing up? Someone in tune with the local Rhode Island political scene please investigate. I would be nervous too. The lady interviewing him is a tasty little biscuit. The two have an obvious sexual chemistry, though. I haven't been this turned on by Rhode Island politics since Annabeth Gish in the Showtime series Brotherhood.

Rawr, kitty

Annabeth Gish is a very underrated hottie. She's also been in two of my favorite things ever, the movie SLC Punk and The X-Files.
Back to the video. Did you catch that pony tail he has tied up in the back? Why are you hiding that thing, my man? Let your mane flow. I have to give it to the lady interviewing Mayor-Elect Young (We can go ahead and assume he's going to win, right?) Number one, she manages to keep her clothes on while he is singing that song. Number two, she maintains professionalism and is able to find a place to cut him off before he breaks it down to the beat box/ extended version. At the end Young seems more intent on getting his band heard than running for mayor. Wait a minute, he's a freaking genius. He got his demo heard and we were none the wiser. Damnit! Well played, Chris Young. Well played.
I guess this is the new trend, crazy guys running for office. First Basil Marceaux.com and now Chris Young.

Word of the Day: Brosher

Bro, that time you puked beer out of your mouth and nose onto me was not brosher.

Your word of the day courtesy of The Nonpopulist is brosher.

Brosher: 1. Keeping within the limits of unwritten and often unspoken etiquette kept among bros. 2. a cousin of the term kosher, but not in a sacrilegious way, rather a totally chill way. 3. ex: True friends know it is not brosher under any circumstances to date a fellow bro's ex-girl.

I coined a new word today (as far as I can tell by searching Google no one else has used it.) What the crap did you do today?

How to keep it brosher: wine, flip flops, and khaki shorts combos.

These guys are putting on a clinic on keeping brosher. I didn't even point out they were next to a large body of water.

With this post I declare The Nonpopulist back in regular posting mode. Actually I plan to turn it up to "beast mode" by posting more than one time a day. We'll see how that goes, though. As NFL season heats up I plan too post a whole lot more over at The Gally Blog including a weekly NFL betting post and a division by division season preview.

Meme Central: Crazy Cursing Black Preacher + Animated .Gif

The crazy cursing black preacher has been internet gold since 2006 when the videos first appeared online. This guy, Don Vincent aka Reverend X, has the sort of swagger only someone with bipolar disorder can have. I need to learn the lesson that other bloggers have been trying to teach me that it is alright to post old stuff since not everyone has seen everything already like I may have. And sometimes I discover old things that are new to me. It is rare that something over a few weeks old in internet age will be new to me, though. In the words of my wife when I forced her to admit it while pulling her hair, "I win the internet." In other words it is always new to someone. But nothing is new under the sun.
Back to the crazy preacher. Watch this video.

Where does one start with a video such as this? The hair? The ponytail is a solid length, but it looks as if he occasionally shaves his head directly above the ear and over the top. Why does he choose that spot? I would say because he is cross-eyed and must shave by feel instead of sight. Then again I can't keep my beard shaved straight at my neck so I probably shouldn't be throwing stones from my glass house. I will throw stones at the mock turtleneck, though. That is weak. The music he chooses to play is usually rap which is nice even though it drowns out the most assuredly hilarious comments people are making when they called into his show. O wait, then there is the whole thing of him being the cursingest preacher ever. Church would be a lot more interesting if preachers all carried themselves like this guy. In his mind he is on a mission, and no one can deter him from it. If he doesn't like what you have to say he will cut you off as evidenced by when he told his producer to "cut that bitch off!" Wikipedia has more of the story behind Reverend X as well as the always wonderful Encyclopedia Dramatica. And that stuff I wrote at the beginning about new vs. old stuff was in response to Daniel Tosh featuring Reverend X in his "web redemption" segment tonight on Tosh.0. I'm sure it will be great since almost everything Tosh does is funny. I was only regretting that I had not posted this yet since I have known about it so long. I swear an oath to you, internet, that I will slowly post all the memes I come across regardless of whether or not I think everyone has seen it already. Hey, there's people that were just born today. And now for the animated .gif I promised courtesy of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Meme Central: Meme Mashup Video... Many Greats

This video squishes together some recent notable memes and sets them to a funky track. The soundtrack includes samples from Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" and a Kid Cudi song (whoever the crap that is.)
Some of the memes included are David after Dentist (Do you capitalize memes? I have no idea. I'm just going to do it since the MLA handbook has nothing about it. I feel at this point I can deduce the spirit of MLA to the be able to make these decisions.), the Worst Wedding DJ Ever, the Best Cry Ever (Auto-Tuned Remix- from that intervention episode), The Sneezing Baby Panda, and the Happiest DJ in the World




It's amazing really. The speed at which memes were created was shocking not more than a few months ago. Now the rate at which memes are condensed into mashups and autotune remixes moves at a blistering pace. This is what the internet is for, people. We are merely bystanders.

Crazy Fight Video of the Day: Bawston Style

Don'ts trys to staht nothin' with us Bawston Boyz!

picture via FilmDrunk 

Prepare yourself to view a 7 on 1 fight where the 1 has a surprise bat. The video is shaky and at times pointed away from the action but still totally worth it. As you might imagine, the comments below this video are funny as well. Everyone's a tough guy with a bat or until a bat comes out. It tends to tip the scales that way.

K-Swiss Grows Some Advertising Balls and Decides to Win with Kenny Powers

Coming from a person who hates commercials I must admit, I love this commercial. You have to give credit to a major company like K-Swiss for laying their nuts out on the table to make a commercial as great as this for their new shoes called "Tubes." The shoes actually look cool. I plan on trying on a pair next time I am shoe shopping, and in this video Danny McBride's character is selling them hard. For backup Kenny has brought his trusty sidekick and assistant Stevie Janowski played by Steve Little to perfection. Honestly, this video is so full of win you just have to watch it yourself with minimal commentary from me.

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

I am so wet for this next season of Eastbound & Down that I am nearing the point of purchasing HBO. Hard Knocks with the Jets and head coach Rex Ryan is another show lubing me up to let HBO insert itself inside me. The people behind Kenny Powers and Eastbound & Down certainly left us wanting more after making an inaugural season of only six episodes. I can only re-watch my DVDs of season 1 so many times before I have to see new moments of a$$holery from Kenny Powers. If this commercial is any indication the new season will probably be more of the glorious same, except in Mexico where season 2 is at least partially set. We'll find out when Eastbound & Down returns to HBO on September 26th.

Meme Central: You Can Dance Like No One Is Watching, But Make Sure People Are Watching

From one of my favorite classic movies, Beat Street

What's this? A new feature? Yes, internet weirdo, this is a new feature I am calling "Meme Central." I am semi-unretired from blogging for the time being (in between contracts) and thought since most of my posts revolve around various memes I should give these sorts of posts a name for recognition purposes. That is the origin story for MEME CENTRAL. No graphic novel prequel required.
The Internet Meme Central has been humming along lately with many wonderful new offerings. This video with meme potential comes to us from Youtube user tehl337n3ss. What a surprisingly internet self aware username to choose, bro.

Dancing, with all of the hard times in the world today it is nice to be able to take some time for a lively dance. As the dancer in this video soon finds out, choosing the right location for getting footloose is important. Some people go to clubs, others to studios with mirrors on all the walls. The most important component of the dance, however, is the inspiration. The dancer in this video was obviously inspired by the classic song "Dancing in the Street" which I'm fairly certain is the song you hear playing in the background and the location in which he chose to dance. I had a dance studio in a house I lived in a few years ago. And by dance studio I mean a room with a tile floor for which we were too poor to buy furniture. I did dance in there from time to time, though.



First impression: Cameraman, we're getting off to a bad start. Not only are you spinning me around making me dizzy, but you are forcing me to look at a gap in your teeth that makes Michael Strahan feel bad for you. Some people are supposed to be in front of the camera, and some people are supposed to work behind the scenes. You are one of those two kinds of people. What is being lost on others I have seen commenting on this video is this guy is not a good dancer, not good at all. What's with the arms folded thing, man? Is that like fighting with one arm tied behind your back? You believe you are such a good dancer that you don't require the use of your arms? I'm sorry. I just don't see it, man. I think you need the arms back in your repertoire. Also, I get the ice cream truck coming in hot because he sees a larger gentleman and therefore a potential sale, but the driver should really have more focus. The ice cream man industry is in such a bad decline that I have heard some ice cream men have resorted to selling drugs out of their ice cream trucks to be able to support their families. Don't believe me? Check the Ice Cream Sellers Index printed in the Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition.

Alternate headlines for this post if this were The ALT Report- Blipster Bro Decides to Dance Like No One's Watching at the Wrong Time, When Someone Was Not Watching

More Proof Brett Favre Is A Regular Guy: He Sends Pictures of His Penis to Girls He Barely Knows

Check this post out on my new site www.nonpopulist.com
http://www.nonpopulist.com/more-proof-brett-favre-is-a-regular-guy-he-sends-pictures-of-his-penis-to-girls-he-barely-knows

Deadspin broke an incredible exclusive story today about Brett Favre, Brett Favre's...

They Would Be "Rapin' Errbody Out Here" If It Weren't for Hero Antoine Dodson

Actually writing a post feels so foreign to me now that I have let this blog go without updates for so long, but hey, I like foreign women, so I will try to get back into my groove. Yeh, I know, boo-freakin-hoo, I actually have a job right now. Shutup.
Rape is never a funny topic except for when it happens to someone else which... is 100% of the time for me in my life so far *fingers crossed.* Luckily the woman in this video had someone to help her fend off an attempted rape however light in the loafers he may be. I would not dare make too much fun of Antoine Dodson, though, since he fought off his sister's attacker and still has enough wits about him to defiantly tell the "homeboy" who tried to rape his sister that he is stupid and they are looking for him. I, for one, hope Mr. Dodson finds his man and that someone has a camera to capture that moment. Check the video below for lulz.



As if that weren't enough the guys over at Autotune the News got a hold of the video and put their personal touch on the video to give that extra finger in your butt hole level of excitement.



I normally abhor autotune, but these Autotune the News guys have obvious talent and have been making quality videos for a few months now. They get a pass.

The Double-Rainbow Guy: This Is Why You Can't Have Nice Things, Internet

Every blog on planet earth has linked to or embedded this video of a guy having an elated reaction to seeing a double rainbow. It kind of makes me sad. Watch it below if you're one of the last dozen people in America who haven't seen it or you're from Ethiopia or something. 



My question is why is everyone destroying this guy (and alleging he's on drugs?) I get the novelty of the video, and his reaction is over the top, but it bothers me this dude is getting roasted for having an honest reaction to something. This guy is crying and asking what it means in an real and emotionally vulnerable moment and we, the internet, point and laugh. How messed up is that? This isn't Lindsay Lohan, the cast of Entourage, a BP executive, or anyone else who should have their life failures meticulously raked over the coals. This is just some guy who had a beautiful experience with nature and shared it with a bunch of dickbags like us. The man, Paul Vazquez, is taking it stride. Here's a pretty chill interview he did with CNN for which embedding has been disabled. Mr. Vazquez may also get some money out of the video thanks to some guys who did an autotune song/remix using his audio. Good for him although anyone who uses autotune has a nice selection of one foot spiky as$ dildos reserved for them in hell except for the autotune the news guys. They're hilarious!

Ok, this was funny. Here is the audio of the double rainbow video mashed up with the Kermit the Frog song "Rainbow Connection" called "The Double Rainbow Connection." Great job, internet.

The Double Rainbow Connection (Remix) by gdelahaye

Site News: Where the Hell Have I Been?

You may have noticed the gaping hole in the internet where my daily blog posts at the three sites for which I write (this one, The Nonpopulist, The Gally Blog, and EDGE.) Well, there's a reasonable explanation for the lack of mediocre posts cresting the waves of the internet last week. You see, I began a new contract job last week, and it has been running me fairly ragged. I have to be there early, work eight hours, and then drive over an hour to get back and forth from the site. Not that I'm complaining, though, this is the steadiest job I have had for a while, and the pay is excellent. I'm no longer sucking entirely off of the teat of my sugar mama... figuratively. Literally, I still am sucking... never mind. The point is after a few days of not being able to dick around on the internet all day I miss it. I really miss it. I am looking back longingly on the days I didn't even take a shower in favor of keeping a close watch on all of the twitter and internet goings-on. Then rushing around the house when my wife got home to pretend as if I had done some laundry or dishes or something in the yard. Ahh, the deceitful good ol' days. Maybe when this contract is over I can come back to a life of crude jokes and internet assholery. The contract is supposed to be 2-3 months, but we'll see. I and the people I am working with are already streamlining the sh!t out of the place. I'm coming running back to you internet with high-pitch Steve Perry open arms. Until then I will try to pepper in some posts in the evening. I also think I'll focus more on my serious writing (i.e. novel), but whatever. That's not funny or entertaining as of now.

This Kid Is So Punk Rock

A not so Fat Mike

This kid is so punk rock, he'll probably be the next Fat Mike (of NOFX.)
His debut splash into the music world is called "I'm Fat, and Nobody Likes Me." Both of these kids in this video are wearing those power chords out. Saw it on Web Soup originally. The way that Chris Hardwick says "Web Soooooooooup" at the beginning of the show is starting to grow on me.

Another Sitcom Intro Recut to the Theme Song of Friends

This video gets done for every sitcom if not all television shows now. I saw one with the sitcom Community a while back, but this time it's Parks and Recreation. I enjoy both of those shows by the way. What I do not enjoy is the rush to see who's going to edit some clips together from the latest hot show and drop it against the iconic barf bag theme song from Friends. I respect the editing skills since I wouldn't know where to begin to make a video like that, and I know it's fun to have your momentary brush with a celebrity from the show or the creator when they mention your video on twitter. I'm sure it's a high to get that recognition, but your talents can be better spent editing videos of people getting hit in the nuts set to wacky slide whistle noises and parents exploiting their children while on narcotics. It's played out, guys.
On top of how played out it is, why does it always have to be the Friends theme song? Did people actually like Friends? I could not stand that show. I liked the theme song even less. Why doesn't anyone ever do one of these videos to the MacGyver theme song. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh duuh du du duuh....
That's a genius idea, and I won't even be mad if someone steals or if it's already been done and I'm unaware of it. Here is a fartists (intentional misspell) rendering of the Parks and Recreation introduction set to the theme song from Friends I like Aubrey Plaza's character on Parks and Rec. Everything she does is hilariously cute to me:

Oasis Update: The Band Getting Back Together??? Plus Update on Singles Album

The band is getting back together albeit in a bastardized form WITHOUT NOEL! Liam Gallagher, Gem Archer, Andy Bell, and some queef named Chris Sharrock have put together a band called Beady Eye according to the official Oasis website. If Noel's not in the band then it's not Oasis and it won't be good. (Whose side do you think I took when the band broke up? The talented side.)
Since Oasis (2nd favorite band ever) broke up in August I have gone through however many stages of grief there are. Denial, anger, the rest, and now I am just waiting for Noel to do his long-rumored solo project. Sh*t, I'd go see him do an acoustic set by himself with Oasis b-sides. I have said many times that Noel Gallagher is one of the best songwriters of our generation. It's such a shame that anytime anyone in America hears Oasis they instantly think Wonderwall. That crap kills me. It's not like I go around advertising and telling everyone that I'm such a big Oasis fan, but if I know someone and it eventually comes out that I like Oasis they immediately always say harharyehIlikeWonderwall-it'stheironlygoodsong and then drool on themselves. That sends me into a Tasmanian devil-type rage twirling around the room grabbing genitals and wallets because screw you. You know nothing about Oasis, you lazy American twat. It's the only song you ever heard because it was the only one fed to you via mainstream American radio. Calming down now.
Oasis is also releasing a singles collection which I will not buy because I've already heard them all. Here's Noel talking about the singles collection "Time Flies" and then another video talking about one of my favorite Oasis songs, "Cigarettes & Alcohol."

The Beginning 8 Minutes of Back to the Future 1 and 2 Synced Up

Yes, it is as cool as it sounds. If you don't like the Back to the Future movies we can't be friends anymore. Stop reading this blog... now. That's probably taking it a bit too far, but I do enjoy falling into the trap of watching any of the three movies on TNT on Saturday afternoons. Anyway, this video has about the first eight minutes of Back to the Future I & II synced up. The guy who made it said it's not 100% perfect, but I beg to differ. Wow, what the internet can do. It's a marvel. And Elisabeth Shue, wow, what I could do to her. She always makes my boner flutter. Loved her in Adventures in Babysitting. That is such an underrated movie.

Hat tip to Household Hacker for the link.