Nonpopulist's Browsings of the Day: Web Soup Joke and Gillian Jacobs Gif

Many of you may be aware of the television show Web Soup that airs on G4TV on Wednesday nights. You may also be aware they have a segment titled "Twittershots" where they post a video the prior week on twitter with the intent of using three jokes from twitter users on the show. I have tweeted a joke to the show a few times and 75% of the time I feel the jokes I tweeted are better than the ones used on the show. The only conclusion I can draw from this is they only check the tweets during a certain time period and choose the best joke from that small window. With that being said, here is the video they are going to use for "Twittershots" on tonight's show followed by my joke.


The joke I tweeted for them to use is, "@websoup now let's see you hit the broad side of that pool without a man's hand on your ass." I guarantee that is funnier than the jokes they will use unless they actually pick me this time. The show airs Wednesdays at 8 EST.

A 24-hour documentary channel? Yes, please. It's times like these I am glad I have DirectTV. [Documentary Channel]

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park, are facing death threats after using Mohammad in a recent episode. My advice to the guys is keep up the good work, and if you need to hide somewhere come to the South where they have guns and dislike Muslims. [WWTDD]

A well thought-out and nicely executed flow chart on which summer action movie is right for you. Funny stuff. [Vulture Blog]

Conan O'Brien got a letter asking him to prom a few years ago. He responded. The response note will now be moved the Library of Congress. [Letter of Note]

Hackers catching heat. [Alt Report]

This was interesting to me. Wikipedia article on Werner Erhard and The Collection of Crazy People Known as Scientology. [Wikipedia]

A collection of pictures that indeed made me say WTF. [Regretful Morning]

Jeff Zucker, keep Conan O'Brien's name out of your damn mouth. Just shutup. [Vulture Blog]

Tiger Woods: A Source for Jokes

Tiger Woods' prepared statement read in front of a group of 'friends' was in short, interesting. Tiger invoking Buddhism made Richard Gere poop the gerbil out of his ass for sure, but who am I to judge? I am an anonymous blogger, that is who, bitch. If he was really sorry and had perspective on the whole situation he would understand why the media had such a throbbing boner for stories about his... throbbing, drug-strengthened boner. He denied steroids and that Elin beat him up- whatever, I hate golf.
Here are some reactions I saw on twitter, a twurvey, if you will? You will not? Fine.

@twoeightnine Funny, my core values actually include banging everything in sight.
@BorowitzReport First impression: that third Ambien this morning was a mistake.
@ProFootballtalk At some point, Tiger drifted from buddhism to "booty-ism." (Icouldn't resist.)
@offendthis Tiger invoking Buddhism made Richard Gere poop the gerbil out of his ass. Last Tiger tweet.

 Elin is still hot, though, so there is that.

Church Not Allowed to Do Good

Churches and Christians get a lot of bad press these days, and much of it deserved. Crossroads United Methodist Church in Phoenix, AZ, however, was actually trying to do some good so of course the city should look on with delight and a little envy that a church is pitching in to try to take care of the city's undesirables. *record scratch* Actually a city ordinance has been passed that allows the banning of feeding the homeless at places of worship. Reading further down in the story some dude was stabbed with an icepick so I guess I can kind of see why the people in that suburban neighborhood who are not members of that church would not want their kids playing outside while homeless people are getting shivved. I am disappointed that a church is being prevented from serving the community, though.

Most Christians Choose Not to Appreciate Humor

As if there needs to be further evidence to prove the headline, I read this post from my favorite TV blog, Warming Glow. I watched the episode in question last night with some friends and it was funny. A little bathroom humor never hurt anyone, even if religious icons are involved. It is called taking it to the next level, people! The source article quotes Deal Hudson of www.insidecatholic.com [insert dismissive wanking motion] as saying, "If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions — Jewish or Muslim — there’d be a huge outcry.” I have this to say in response. I will pee on a picture of Mohamed right now except I don't think they allow those to be made. If it is for comedy then I am alright with it. The show and episode are funny so they get a pass. Why do a lot of Christians have such a hard time laughing at themselves? People would like them more if they relaxed and quit spazzing so much. Here is a video of what has some Christians gasping on their own offense after the jump.

You Think You Have Seen Some Weird Things on the Internets? Try This

http://apostoliclive.com/play.php?vid=492
Click that link and tell me that is not weird.
My first inclination on this video is that the baby is just mimicking his grandfather (see description of video underneath.) This video is as precious as it is disturbing. I do not know what else to write about it.

Death by Religious Stubbornness

The parents of an 11 year-old girl who died from a treatable form of diabetes were each convicted earlier this year for second-degree reckless homicide. The parents' religious beliefs led them to pray instead of seeking medical help for their daughter, Madeline. When the girl stopped breathing, someone (not specified) called 911. By that point, of course, the parents' decision had sealed the girl's fate. The parents religion was Christianity, specifically Pentecostal, or Charismatic as it is called in Christian circles. Christians follow the Bible. There are many miracles outlined in the Bible. People also die in the Bible from old age, disease, or any of the other reasons people die today. 

What's Next? Apparently De-Baptism

I'm a hard person to shock, so let me say that I was taken aback by this story. I'm already back to my previous forward position, though. I get it, you're atheists. I'm going to take a very nonpopulist position on this story especially considering I have a somewhat religious background. I'm actually glad it's getting press. I think anyone who had an infant baptism or discovered later in life their cognizant baptism doesn't mean anything to them should have the right to have a ceremony, however satirical. Do it publicly, Christians do.
Now you may say, I'm a Christian, and I am offended by that story. First let me get my composure after laughing at you for being offended. Being offended is the weakest posture/attitude/emotion around. Now think about this. Christians get a lot of press in this country so it's alright for atheists to get some. We still have a semblance of free speech in this country as well. I'm also unoffendable (made up word.) Nothing you can say or do can offend me. Because I'm not a weak little bitch. My blogging sucks? Yeh, I'm trying to get better. My mom's a whore? I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't have sex even in her over 20 year marriage, but if you know more than me, ok. My religious beliefs are false and silly? Well, I've been working on them for a while, and I think they're honed and refined enough to stand up to whatever you got if you're feeling froggy.
So go get de-baptized if you want to, but let people have their baptisms too. They both mean something to the individual party regardless of what you or I think. And your mother wears combat boots.