Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hey, Want a Top Ten List That Will Make You Throw Up?

Well, I have just the thing for you. It's the list of the ten songs most downloaded on ITunes (courtesy of the AOL Radio Blog.) Here is the list with my uninformed comments in italics.
10. Ke$ha- "Tik Tok" Who is this? She has a symbol in her name? Ooohhh, she's like a modern day e e cummings. Wait, this isn't good.
9. Leona Lewis- "Bleeding Love" Is this Lennox Lewis' daughter? When are we getting to The Beatles?
8. Taylor Swift- "Love Story" She's pretty. #8 all-time? Are teenage girls the only ones using ITunes?
7. Flo Rida- "Get Low" Sounds like a bangin' club hit. Wait, what does that mean?
6. Lady Gaga- "Just Dance" The lady that dresses weird. That's what you are. Nothing more. WHERE IS MY ZEPPELIN?
5. Coldplay- "Vida la Vida" I guess this is an ok song, but not worthy of top five all-time download.
4. Jason Mraz- "I'm Yours" Um, bro, could you be any more chill, bro?Go suck a FarmAid cock.
3. Black Eyed Peas- "Boom Boom Pow" I'm beginning to think I will not be finding any Steve Miller Band on this list.
2. Lady Gaga- "Poker Face" The song may be catchy, but I just don't look at her and say, "Her career has staying power." It's more like, "Future number on a crappy VH1 Saturday afternoon countdown something or other."
1. Black Eyed Peas- "I Gotta Feeling" I absolutely hate this song. I never thought I would say this, but hurry up and release some posthumous Michael Jackson songs so this crap sandwich can be unseated.

That was brutal. Hopefully with time this list will balance out to include some decent music. Or maybe this is decent music and I'm old. Nope, the first one.
*Spits tobacco juice and asks you to leave lawn*

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