Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Leno Back on the Tonight Show to My Own Chagrin

This is what it sounds like when doves cry. And yes, that is a picture of Jay Leno and  Diamond Dallas Page from Leno's arc on WCW that ended in a pay-per view of the team of DDP, Jay Leno, and Kevin Eubanks beating (ludicrous) a team of NWO wrestlers including Hulk Hogan and I can not remember. Do not judge me for watching wrestling. I was a teenager living in the southeastern United States when that happened. Is that not what I was supposed to be doing, New York media?
Being as vindictive as I am I had no intentions of watching Leno's return to the Tonight Show last night. I never watched Leno before due to his whole 'not being funny thing' and in general douchery. I instead planned to have someone fetch me a list of all advertisers on his show and make them mortal enemies, but then I began drinking and started looking for a fight. I saw a tweet reminding me Leno was back and figured I would switch over to NBC to get some ammo to make fun of him. If only I had planned ahead and live-blogged the Tonight Show's move to irrelevance. I tuned in at about the end of his monologue to self-congratulation and the same 'reach for the lowest shelf' humor to which we have grown accustomed from Jay Leno. Here is a story by Hank Stuever from the Washington Post in which he calls Leno's return a "win for the middle of the road" and said his return to the Tonight Show gave off "a victorious air." It gave off some sort of air (fart joke.) The first "joke" I heard was Leno calling Alan Greenspan boring. First off, does he not know we have a new Federal Reserve Chairmen to make fun of/ come up with conspiracy theories about? And Leno can not call anyone boring since he has failed to ever even make me smile. Then he had the obliviousness to call people on Wall Street whores, him being the most dutiful corporate shill the world has ever known. Simply astonishing. Now that I have vented my bitterness I can go back to watching NBC minimally. My new rule is I only watch NBC for Community, Parks & Recreation, 30 Rock, and their NFL coverage. And pay attention to the companies that advertise on the show and get back to me with the list, internet.

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